All posts tagged “Life

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33-YEARS OLD, HAS S*** TOGETHER. HERE’S HOW!

I turned 33 on October 12th and almost instantly, I had my shit together.

Just kidding, clickbait.

Per tradition, I reflect on the previous year and set goals for the next year. Obviously, becoming Baby Gumbeaux’s mom and adjusting to motherhood was the biggest event of the year. To compliment that adjustment, I resigned from every organization and board, with the exemption of PTA . My true calling (Read: 10-Months-Old, Parties Like a Rockstar & Does Not Care If We Get Sleep). As a result, I am spending my time the way I want. Well, with the exception of the time I spend working for the man. Anyway, I have more time to focus on family and my personal goals which include, but are not limited to:

Not complaining. Complaining about being in Jackson, lack of advancement in my career, not being able to find a foundation to match my skin tone, etc. Now, I am only discussing what I want and taking action which often includes balancing a shitload of stuff, because I want to accomplish a shitload of things. To compliment this change, I recite affirmations every morning but then I found out Baby Gumbeaux was slapping her classmates for touching her hair and bib so I started reciting them with her, on the way to school. Naturally, we started including Husband Gumbeaux or should I call him Daddy Gumbeaux? Zaddy Gumbeaux?

Launching my podcast entitled Jxn Transplants. Now, I get to be honest about my struggle to adjust and know there are other transplants who relate. It also gives a ton of recommendations to transplants, Jacksonians, and even people who want to visit Jackson. Apparently, that is a thing.

Taking pictures more often. Not for you weirdos, in general. I detest taking pictures. I don’t know how to pose, my eyes are usually closed, terrible angles; mostly importantly, I don’t like smiling. Thugs don’t smile. I think it’s because I have become increasingly uncomfortable with my body; particularly, after incubation.

Last and least but certainly not least, I have to finish writing my dissertation. I’ve been talking about this for the last few years (I enrolled in the program a year after starting this blog). I have tons of excuses: sick and tired, interested but uninterested, dreams and goals have changed, struggling to find the relevancy of having a PhD, drained, merely thinking about it is exhausting. Actually, I’m going to take a nap.

And, I’m up. Fun fact: I am still paying tuition and have to remain enrolled if I want to finish this very last step. As a result, I will finish. Prayer warriors, reach your hands out to me and help me get through this. I may include you in the acknowledgements. Side note: it’s super annoying when people who have never been enrolled in a doctoral program ask me what’s taking so long. What’s taking so long for you to mind your business? 

Yeah, so… I accept your belated birthday wishes. I am still accepting gifts and money. As stated many times before, my friendship can be bought. Listen to my podcast and tell me I’m doing an awesome job. Read and share my previous post: Fun Facts My Parents (and Grandparents) Don’t Know

Follow me most places @pinkgumbeaux.

Ashlee, out.

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BABY GUMBEAUX TURNS 4 MONTHS! FT. HUSBAND & DROOL

Yes, it’s a girl.

Most importantly, I survived 4 months of motherhood. By the way, the word “motherhood” still sounds super aggressive.

Note: Baby Gumbeaux drooled throughout the duration of this interview; thereby, contributing absolutely nothing . However, I thought it pertinent to include her drool as a featured writer. 

About Baby Gumbeaux

Baby is 11 pounds of attitude! She loves when we read and sing to her, laughs when we dance, yammers loudly about her day (in a language we don’t understand), can now grab small toys, drools a ton, lights up when called beautiful, occasionally displays the side eye, does not like strangers touching her hands (neither do I), and will scream if you remove her pacifier (which the director of her daycare learned the hard way). At this point, Baby is still sleeping in 3- or 4-hour intervals, it just depends on how busy her baby schedule was that day (translation: we still ain’t getting sleep).

About Fatherhood

Fatherhood helped me realize how much time I had (and no longer have).

Having a baby is expensive AF. We had some chump change saved but there is a host of unplanned expenses.

I think we need to work on Baby Gumbeaux’s resume and post it to Ziprecruiter.

Anything else about Fatherhood? You know, I’ve heard parents say they had nothing to live for prior to their kids and I don’t feel that way, lol. However, I do feel like she has always been apart of my life. It just seems like this is my reality, I don’t miss who Ashlee was before her.

She’s Daddy’s Sweet Sweet Baby.

Not relevant. 

I like to visualize what part of us she will have. I like to see how much she looks like me.

She does mirror you but has my personality. It is your face but my personality so I think that’s better. Anyway, the baby was barely out of my body before people started planning the next one. How quickly do people forget about the mental and physical trauma associated with childbirth. When I tell you I don’t want another kid, you’re silent. 

People don’t think about the pain and trauma because it’s your pain and trauma. So, it’s OK…

What? Lol. What do you mean “it’s OK?” 

*laughing* Because, I’m not the one in pain and trauma. Regarding other kids, I think she should have someone in life.

So, think about all the siblings we know. Not many of them are close. I think that “having someone” logic is bullshit. 

Think about your brother…

That doesn’t count, that’s an anomaly. Moving on, having a kid makes me think about my upbringing a lot. The things I want to model, the things I want to change. I wish I had the community I had. I had both my parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. All of these people had an impact on my life that resulted in who I am today (which may or may not be a contribution to society, I am not sure). Do you think about quality of life and education; particularly, since we’re trapped in Mississippi? 

I mean, yeah. Not only do I want her to have what I didn’t have, I want her to have what I did.

Note: Why can’t we just move? We can’t move because my husband is an awesome f***ing architect and developer and has big plans for Jackson that requires us to be here (and for me to support him). 

Do you have any comment on why we are stuck here? 

Women are to do as they’re told.

Whatever. Thanks, for this boring interview. Drool, your presence is much appreciated. Read and share my previous post: Good For You. Subscribe, like, and follow me @pinkgumbeaux.

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BABY GUMBEAUX TURNS 1 MONTH OLD

Most importantly, I survived a month of motherhood. By the way, the word “motherhood” is super aggressive, is there an alternative?

About Baby Gumbeaux

In 1 month, I’ve changed numerous poop- and pee-filled diapers; although, sitting in dirty diapers and onesies is one of her favorite pastimes. By the way, she has already pooped and peed on me and vomited down my boobs which clearly demonstrates the level of respect she has for me.

She sounds like she’s having a panic attack when her pacifier isn’t in or near her mouth and screams like a banshee when we take too long to get her bottle.

She falls asleep when I play Diana Ross’s greatest hits, thinks “Tummy Time” is for chumps, and prefers listening to “5 Minute Minnie Tales” over all other books including the Bible which leads me to believe she’s probably Muslim.

The most challenging thing is the lack of sleep. She seems to be most alert when we are sleepy and spends the wee hours staring at us and probably hoping we turn into stone. Note: I have not received a full night of sleep since I was 19 weeks pregnant which means I’ve been deprived of sleep for nearly a f***ing year!

Update: Husband read this post and told me “don’t act like I don’t keep the baby overnight so you can sleep a few hours.”

Postpartum Depression

I prayed, meditated, spent my Ibotta cash on an album full of pregnancy and parenting affirmations and think I have a pretty good support system so I was well-prepared to bypass Postpartum Depression; however, it’s inevitable.

I cried more in the short period after having the baby then I did in the entire pregnancy and suffered from high blood pressure the first time in my life which resulted in a visit to my doctor’s office and the emergency room. To make matters worse, I still mull over the C-Section and not being able to produce a sufficient amount of breastmilk (although I am now working with a lactation doctor to change things).

I’m doing a lot better than my first few weeks but will chat with my OBGYN at my appointment to determine if I need additional help aka drugs!

Postpartum Body

I spent my entire pregnancy nauseous, with heartburn and acid reflux, and suffering from food aversion; as a result, I only gained 8 pounds. Sounds cool, right? Less weight to lose; however, it was something that could’ve put Baby at risk so it was not something I did intentionally.

Right before I started my 3rd Trimester, my OBGYN wanted me to gain 7 pounds. I gained 5, got sick, lost 5 then lost a few pounds prior to giving birth (which means I basically gained no weight).

What I do have is a weird stomach. When I left the hospital, I looked 6 months pregnant. I was told it takes time for swelling to go down and for everything to retract. The area immediately surrounding my belly button shakes like jello and the area below that is painful and the area below that area is still numb (probably from the C-Section). Last but not least, the stretch marks seem to have grown out of nowhere so I’ve increased the amount of times I exfoliate and am basically sliding around my apartment from all of the Cocoa Butter I’m wearing.

Well, you guys are uber nosy. Read and share my previous post: The Illuminati Created Fall Finales Follow us on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram @pinkgumbeaux and @babygumbeaux

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ALMOST LESSONS OF A 32-YEAR-OLD 


It’s been like a month, do you miss me? Anyone? No. Anyway, you guys totally missed my birthday. I am still accepting gifts by the way. Note: I am always accepting gifts.

So, I turned 32 on October 12th which means I am pretty much an expert on life. I would also like to add parenting expert on my vitae; although, I have yet to give birth or be a “parent.” Anyway, for some time birthdays have been a time of reflection and goal setting. So, how was 31? Let’s take a walk down memory lane shall we?

For the first time ever, I am considering forgiveness, releasing grudges and revisiting old relationships. I like to cut people off rather swiftly because I don’t like drama, discomfort or draining relationships. Note: The list is long and goes back to the early 2000s so if you’ve pissed me off recently, it’ll take about 15 years for redemption. 

Historically, the environment dictated which Ashlee you would get but this can be exhausting. My dominant traits include being cynical and deadpan (characteristics used to describe this blog) but I can also be super quiet which is likely because I am analyzing the environment, judging you internally and or both.

This past year, I came to a few realizations regarding my professional career. Since 20, I’ve worked hard to maintain both a professional and academic career with supporting extracurriculars and volunteer work. I tried to acquire every skill necessary to obliterate peers. Now? I don’t really care to impress, prove anything or be an organization’s best employee. I would rather be Ashlee’s best employee where there is no limit on creativity, no competition; most importantly, no coworkers cap on salary.

Last but not least, my spending habits continue to drastically change. Everything requires a Cost-Benefit Analysis. I prefer to do my own facials, manicures, pedicures and eat at home because the food sucks out here. Very different from the woman who got weekly manicures, only ate and drunk out, had a spa membership, and a host of other unnecessary shit.

This upcoming year, I hope to successfully drop Baby Gumbeaux. Actually, I am hoping to do that this week because I am tired of being pregnant and she’s tired of being folded up inside of me like a lawnchair. Other goals include but are not limited to finishing the PhD (I need to replace tuition for childcare), monetizing all skills, being the best entrepreneur ever, and doing a better job of staying in touch with family and friends (I guess that means I have to use the telephone, I detest the phone). I would also like to travel more. I largely avoided this because flying while knocked up is uncomfortable and peeing every 15 minutes makes traveling challenging. Maybe I should be nicer and let my guards down too… Nahhhhh!

I am so mature!

Read and share my previous (super old) post: How Insecure Made Me Obsessed with Nick Hakim. Follow me on both Pink Gumbeaux and Baby  Gumbeaux!

Ashlee, out!

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HELL HAS FROZEN OVER, PIGS ARE FLYING & I’M PREGNANT


Yes, you read correctly. The end of the times are near because the infamous toddler-hater is 13 weeks pregnant. So, how did I find out Husband trapped me? 

It was nothing we planned but not anything we were trying to prevent either. When you marry someone who wants kids, it’s inevitable. I literally had a dream where I was told I was pregnant, woke up, took a pregnancy test, screamed explicits then had it confirmed at my employer’s clinic.

My family and friends needed proof before believing I was knocked up. 

Most didn’t believe me but when I provided proof, excitement ensued from mostly everyone… Dad had a hard time processing it (likely because it forced him to realize I’m an adult and that he’s getting older). He’s come around now, has named baby “bun” (because bun in the oven) and has already asked to babysit whenever we travel. My grandmother (his mom) response was bland potato salad until I learned that she thought I felt pressured and was not going to celebrate my pregnancy until she knew I was OK. How does Ashlee feel? This is why she is my ride or die. Anyway, she came around shortly after and has now volunteered to babysit a week out of each mom #saynomore #thankyouinadvance

There are benefits to this pregnancy thing.

I’m coddled and everyone wants to feed me which is awesome because I am always hungry. I don’t have any wild cravings yet but nearly everything I drink tastes like pennies. Family is already volunteering to buy baby furniture and my grandfather stated that the baby will probably be spoiled which is rich coming from the man who spoiled me. Baby will be the first grandchild from my parents and Husband’s dad; as a result, I expect to buy nothing.

What’s next?

After the shock of being knocked up wore off (which is approximately 5 minutes ago), we started giving thought to how we plan to raise Baby Gumbeaux. I am hoping for a girl because who wouldn’t want Ashlee 2.0? Smarter, fashionable, sarcastic and a mouth that kept me in trouble? Yes, please! I am leaning heavy towards private school, the only decision that I’ve made that’s nonnegotiable. And, I already talk to baby a lot. It usually goes like: “Hey baby, what are you doing? Oh nothing? Well, it’s the perfect time for you to start thinking about your future since you obviously don’t have anything better to do.” I’ve also shared with baby a list of my enemies so baby can know who not to go to, who to vomit on and when to scream baby head off. 

If you haven’t guessed, I will be documenting my pregnancy and parenting journey and will likely have personal stories that may or may not affect if family and friends give me gifts at my baby shower. Because I stand in solidarity with other toddler-haters, I created separate social media so I won’t stink up Pink Gumbeaux with baby stuff you care nothing about. “Like” Baby Gumbeaux on Facebook, and follow on Twitter and Instagram.

Read and share husband’s blog post: Storytime 2: Dad, That’s Not a Limousine!