All posts tagged “Baby

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7-MONTHS-OLD, UNEMPLOYED & STILL DROOLING

Yes, Baby Gumbeaux still exists. Unless you follow Baby Gumbeaux on social media, you have no idea what we’ve been up to. Most recent Facebook and Twitter posts are about phantom poop smells, chew toys, making a quilt out of my C-section panties and nursing bras, and twerking to ABC Mouse.

Baby Gumbeaux is basically grown but has yet to secure the employment necessary to pay for daycare, diapers, and food. She is 15 pounds and 25-inches-long, a third of my height. Don’t be surprised if she’s taller than me by kindergarten. She has a ton of personality; specifically, my personality. She runs the staff at her daycare, only allowing a couple of teachers to hold and feed her, gets annoyed when other babies get “too much attention,” and often accompanies her teacher on her lunch breaks. Baby Gumbeaux has three boyfriends ranging from babies to toddlers that, visit her every morning and afternoon. She runs the toddlers too. Just last week, she mowed over two toddlers while in her walker, and they just let it happen.

Unless you approach her with a compliment, she likely won’t allow you to touch or hold her. Don’t blink or breath near her or she may start screaming. She often snatches her hand away from people and occasionally lets out a baby kick. Not too surprising since I usually don’t like people touching me either. During a trip to New Orleans last week, she wouldn’t allow anyone to hold her. Well, just the kids and only because she thinks she’s one of them.

Baby Gumbeaux is eating baby food and tried mashed potatoes a couple of times. I tried to feed her scrambled eggs, but she spit it out. I think the texture is weird to her. Have I ever mentioned I am an extremely picky eater so seeing her reject a ton of food should be fun?

She thinks she is grown, so her preference is to try to walk and has thrown a baby middle finger to crawling. Her favorite pastime includes watching me get ready and laughing when I dance. I have yet to determine if she’s laughing with or at me. She has no rhythm, so the joke’s on her. Baby Gumbeaux is a rebel so, homegirl still does not sleep through the night. Interestingly, when we are getting ready for work, she usually goes back to sleep. I don’t think so sis; you should’ve slept last night. It’s time for daycare.

I am fairly certain I am going to ditch Baby Gumbeaux’s Instagram and Facebook. They are the same people who follow Pink Gumbeaux. We’ll stay on Twitter because we have a bit of an audience @babygumbeaux. Read and share my previous post: Talking Gumbeaux.

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BABY GUMBEAUX TURNS 4 MONTHS! FT. HUSBAND & DROOL

Yes, it’s a girl.

Most importantly, I survived 4 months of motherhood. By the way, the word “motherhood” still sounds super aggressive.

Note: Baby Gumbeaux drooled throughout the duration of this interview; thereby, contributing absolutely nothing . However, I thought it pertinent to include her drool as a featured writer. 

About Baby Gumbeaux

Baby is 11 pounds of attitude! She loves when we read and sing to her, laughs when we dance, yammers loudly about her day (in a language we don’t understand), can now grab small toys, drools a ton, lights up when called beautiful, occasionally displays the side eye, does not like strangers touching her hands (neither do I), and will scream if you remove her pacifier (which the director of her daycare learned the hard way). At this point, Baby is still sleeping in 3- or 4-hour intervals, it just depends on how busy her baby schedule was that day (translation: we still ain’t getting sleep).

About Fatherhood

Fatherhood helped me realize how much time I had (and no longer have).

Having a baby is expensive AF. We had some chump change saved but there is a host of unplanned expenses.

I think we need to work on Baby Gumbeaux’s resume and post it to Ziprecruiter.

Anything else about Fatherhood? You know, I’ve heard parents say they had nothing to live for prior to their kids and I don’t feel that way, lol. However, I do feel like she has always been apart of my life. It just seems like this is my reality, I don’t miss who Ashlee was before her.

She’s Daddy’s Sweet Sweet Baby.

Not relevant. 

I like to visualize what part of us she will have. I like to see how much she looks like me.

She does mirror you but has my personality. It is your face but my personality so I think that’s better. Anyway, the baby was barely out of my body before people started planning the next one. How quickly do people forget about the mental and physical trauma associated with childbirth. When I tell you I don’t want another kid, you’re silent. 

People don’t think about the pain and trauma because it’s your pain and trauma. So, it’s OK…

What? Lol. What do you mean “it’s OK?” 

*laughing* Because, I’m not the one in pain and trauma. Regarding other kids, I think she should have someone in life.

So, think about all the siblings we know. Not many of them are close. I think that “having someone” logic is bullshit. 

Think about your brother…

That doesn’t count, that’s an anomaly. Moving on, having a kid makes me think about my upbringing a lot. The things I want to model, the things I want to change. I wish I had the community I had. I had both my parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. All of these people had an impact on my life that resulted in who I am today (which may or may not be a contribution to society, I am not sure). Do you think about quality of life and education; particularly, since we’re trapped in Mississippi? 

I mean, yeah. Not only do I want her to have what I didn’t have, I want her to have what I did.

Note: Why can’t we just move? We can’t move because my husband is an awesome f***ing architect and developer and has big plans for Jackson that requires us to be here (and for me to support him). 

Do you have any comment on why we are stuck here? 

Women are to do as they’re told.

Whatever. Thanks, for this boring interview. Drool, your presence is much appreciated. Read and share my previous post: Good For You. Subscribe, like, and follow me @pinkgumbeaux.