All posts tagged “Advice

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THE SUBTLE ART OF MINDING YOUR OWN BUSINESS

I’m back, let me know what you think because my mom and husband are some haters.

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2 YEARS OF MARRIAGE FT. HUSBAND


Last week, we celebrated 2 years of marriage *insert applause here* However, it feels like we’ve been married longer so I had to check the year we got married (via Facebook), lol. Maybe it’s because we’ve been together so long (5 years prior to marriage). 

Husband: Time flies when you’re having fun.

I told you I thought it was weird that we didn’t do a big celebration. I think we approach most holidays like that (such as Valentine’s Day at Panera Bread), why is that? 

Husband: We both have better things to do.

Since last year, we started a couple of businesses. So we live together and occasionally work together, yikes! Just kidding, I would rather have you as coworker. Plus, it’s not like we haven’t been coworkers before. 

Husband: This is true.


We just found out you passed the last exam necessary to become a licensed architect! How do you feel? 

Husband: Before I found out I passed, I envisioned getting the results early in the morning, playing Kool & the Gang’s “Celebration” and jumping in the bed and waking you up. But I didn’t think you would appreciate it. I feel like a tremendous burden has been lifted, now I can develop my own projects (both commercial and residential) and help upcoming architects. I just encouraged one of my coworkers to start taking his exam.

We have a lot of things planned for 2017, do you want to talk about some of those things? 

Husband: We are on track to start developing tiny homes, we are going to kick off our travel agenda, we are about to become homeowners, and you finishing school and becoming Dr. Kelly for the 99 and the 2000 (Juvenile reference).

Do you think I’ve changed since our last anniversary? Good? Bad? Do I even care? Lol. 

Husband: I think you’ve changed for the better. You are more conscious of who you are, your abilities and how your actions affect others.


Basically, I am getting soft. Over the past year, I think we’ve exchanged rolls a bit. Historically, I am a very action-oriented, do-it-right-now person but have been very hesitant about a lot of things; however, you’re like “just do it!” And, you even got me together about my dissertation. Basically, you told me stop being scary, wrap it up, and that it’s just a paper. Do you want to talk about that? 

Husband: I told you to stop being a little b****

Basically. I also want to mention a little ritual we have. Every morning and night, we talk about what we are grateful for, recite affirmations then a prayer. How do you you think that’s impact us?

Husband: A couple of those affirmations have come to pass.

Anything we should work on this year? 

Husband: Having more faith in spite of what’s in front of us.


Any advice for anyone who wants to get married, engaged or newlyweds? 

Husband: RUN, sike! Make sure you like the person you’re marrying. It seems obvious but you’d be surprised how many people get this wrong.

I think that’s great advice! I would also like to add “fed wife, happy life.” 

Watch and share my previous post: February & March HuesBox

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THE REVIEW OF HOW TO X YOUR EX (BONUS: BOOK GIVEAWAY)

Source: Ashleigh Guice

Source: Ashleigh Guice

I had the pleasure of reading and reviewing “How to X Your Ex: A Guide to Getting Past Unhealthy Relationships” by my blogstie Ashleigh Guice of Single Woman Chronicles (who has also guest blogged here. Read: 5 Reasons to Be Totally Jealous of Your Single Friends). About the book:

Ashleigh Guice, the founder and editor of SingleWomanChronicles.com, shows you how to kick your ex to the curb and never look back. She explains how not contacting your ex is your saving grace and how writing a “Letter to Your Ex” could prevent you from relapsing. She explains why you don’t need closure to move on and how forgiveness can lighten your emotional baggage. Stop asking yourself, “Why do I keep putting myself through this?” and start X’ing your ex!

This book is categorized into the phases necessarily to ditch your ex, tips and personal stories. While reading the book, there were numerous times I exclaimed:

“Humph!”

“Girl, no he didn’t!”

“Don’t trust him!”

“Yep, she’s right!”

But my absolute favorite thing about the book is that IT’S ONLY 49 PAGES! Guys, this is important because it proves books don’t need to be long to prove a point! A lot of us have s*** to do and don’t have years to read your freaking book! I’m talking to you Damon John *stares*

So, I know some of you may be thinking: “what’s a girl like you doing, reading a book like this?” I’m married and a semi, but not really relationship expert. At first glance, I would agree. However, subject matters such as expectations, forgiveness, signs and closure applies to everyone. I didn’t have the experiences Ashleigh talked about, I guess being selfish and holding grudges has it’s benefits. However, it’s not about me (this time) it’s about you and I can sense that a lot of you would benefit from the intended purpose of this book.

Anyway.

Win Kindle Copy of How to X Your Ex or you could always just buy the book here. Read and share my previous post: Faux Product Review 41: Aloe Vera Toner

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I’M 31!!! 

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I think I’ve mentioned my birthday several times; usually, when guilting you into subscribing to my newsletter and following me on social media (which I will mention again at the bottom of this post). Be prepared.

My birthday is very important to me and not for egotistical reasons. Well, mostly not for egotistical reasons. It gives me the opportunity to reflect and set goals for the year opposed to doing it on New Year’s Eve. And, isn’t it too cold to set goals during that time? Anyway, in 29.8-Years Old, I talked about the things I was over and blamed age for it. In I’m 30, I was sure some things would change overnight (give or take a few days). I guess it’s no surprise that it took a bit longer for me to accomplish some of those things. You guys tried to tell me…haters.

So, let’s quickly revisit challenges, accomplishments and new goals.

One of my biggest accomplishments was to pass my doctoral comprehensive exam; however, we will reserve celebration for the actual PhD (which will happen within the next year).

Other things to get hyphy about: Do people still get hyphy? San Francisco seemed really serious about it. Anyway, I received a scholarship from my professional association (which was awarded to me while in Seattle) and Husband and I became property owners! Most recently, we started the process to buy 2 additional homes.

Professional reputation and nerves was tried.

Over

And over

And over again.

I’m assuming the lesson was to not put paws on someone; thereby, avoiding jail time learn how to not worry about things I can’t change and persevere.

Equally important as completing my degree is being a successful entrepreneur. I have 3 businesses (which includes Pink Gumbeaux); however, Husband and I are taking them from side hustles to the main hustle. You know, be my own boss. 

Me: Hey Ashlee, what time are you coming to work? 

Ashlee: When I want, I work for myself. 

Me: Great, I’ll see you then. 

I no longer have patience for the bitter and pessimists. Hearing bitching day after day, after day is draining but also contagious. Note: Everyone has issues, try not to pile your crap on someone else because it gets old. Try journaling, a hobby as an outlet, therapy and or your local buffet. 

Carefree time is great for my mental health. Blocks of time when I have fun and postpone anxiety and panic attacks for another day. Last week, carefree time included a mani and pedi, a date with Husband, my skate birthday party, eating fair food and getting on rides without throwing up.

While I won’t have everything figured out right away maybe by next month, I am working at it everyday. I’m confident 31 will be good to me (because I had a discussion with 31 in advance).

Guess what? You’ll be able to shop Pink Gumbeaux soon. Hint: It’s something you can wear. OK, that’s all the hint you will be getting. Anyway,  subscribe to Pink Gumbeaux, the NEWSLETTER, follow me on FacebookTwitterInstagram and Bloglovin. Donate to Pink Gumbeaux (the donation page is located in the menu bar). Read and share my previous post: My Strange Addiction

 

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SMALL TALK FOR INTROVERTS 

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I may be generalizing but I’m fairly sure that most introverts don’t like small talk; however, most people don’t notice. Or, they don’t care… As a result, I’ve outlined a few scenarios and responses.

Scenario 1: The Elevator Ride 

Note: You should’ve taken the stairs but since you didn’t, here we are. 

Person: Good morning, how are you?

You: I’m doing quite well, and you?

Person: Great

You: It’s still really hot; although, fall is just a day away. I guess we have a few more weeks or so to play in the sun.

*PING* You’ve made it to your floor. You’ve successfully navigated small talk.

Scenario 2: Networking Events

Ugh, this one is the worst. First things first, plan to stay only for an hour.

Person: Hi, you’re a new face.

You: I’m *insert name here,* I heard about this event *insert advertisement (probably Facebook).* I do blah or am just starting blah, and you?

You could go further by asking about the training or education necessary to do whatever they do. Not that you care… 

Maybe ask them what made them get into that field and how long they’ve been at it. 

You could work the room with these same questions or hang by the food and stuff your face. You can’t talk with food in your mouth, that would be impolite.

Scenario 3: Husband Your Spouse Drags You to an Event 

Worse than the aforementioned worse. He Spouse knows you don’t like people but he spouse hates you and wants you to suffer.

First, snarl so people won’t approach you. Actually, that never works. You won’t be successful because these people are über friendly and don’t know how to read your body language. Since spouse that hates you brought you to the event, let spouse kick start the convos, it should be something you’re interested in and knowledgeable of, and or find the food table and stuff your face.

One thing that really helps is having an agreement on how long you have to stay at this event. My max is 2 hours unless I’m having fun which is rare. When 2 hours hits, give the death stare. Result to violence if necessary.

Oh, I forgot to mention. Humans like touching so you may have to shake hands, do a half hug or kiss a cheek. 

May the odds be ever in your favor.

So, the second newsletter just went out and it was a total success! If you don’t mind (but it doesn’t matter if you do), subscribe to Pink Gumbeaux, the NEWSLETTER, follow me on Facebook (where I spend most of my time),TwitterInstagram and Bloglovin. Read and share my previous post: Faux Product Review 33: Perfect Intensity (Bonus: How I Almost Destroyed My Bathroom)