All posts filed under “Career

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FAKE GUMBEAUX SERIES: THE WORKPLACE

As an O.G., it’s natural for me to want to keep it real (or as the millennials like to say, one hundred); however, I am somewhat very certain I could’ve avoided a lot of issues if I was fake. If I would’ve remained quiet or minded my business instead of telling coworkers and management they were incompetent, should consult subject-matter experts, or take courses to become more familiar with their jobs. If as an intern, I would’ve checked emails, opened mailed and made copies instead of telling the women I worked with that I did not go to undergrad and acquire student loans to become a secretary. That upon graduation, I was going to secure a job paying six figures. Note: A lot of them were secretaries that were not college-educated, with little to no chance of advancement and salaries that barely paid a living wage. 

Show of hands, are you surprised a lot of people hated me? Anyone? Anyone? Fun fact: the hate came with a host of awesome rumors. My favorite is the one where I screwed my way into an entry-level job (that had an embarrassingly low salary). But if I could do it all again, what advice would I give myself? I, am glad you asked.

Tip #1: Engage in small talk, learn small facts about coworkers (family and hobbies), and “bond.”

Tip #2: Be a “team player.” Have bland lunch with coworkers, celebrate their birthdays and other accomplishments. Buy them cheap gifts.

Tip #3: Don’t say it, think it. You can still call your coworker a punk-ass bitch, just do it in your head. Not out loud.

Tip #4: Hold doors open. Break room, conference room, and elevator doors. Apparently, it’s polite.

Tip #5: Smile. It disarms people and makes them think you are nice. Once, someone told me I had kind eyes. My family and I laughed about that for days.

A “director” introduced me as one who could insult people in a way they wouldn’t know they were insulted until days later. It’s still one of the most memorable descriptions of me. I wonder if he is still acting like he’s qualified to be director of anything besides a used-car dealership with an inventory of only 4 cars.

Just remember, you’re only at work because they pay you to be there. If you’re really having a tough time, throw a tantrum in the nearest bathroom stall or cry in your car then get back to work and slap that award-winning fake smile on your face. You’re welcome.

Read my last post: Am I Shitty Friend? Follow me most places @pinkgumbeaux.

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MY TINY WEEKEND

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Rarely do I include my professional endeavors. First, it’s boring and secondly, I need a break from it. You know, so I can have some balance in my life…  But here we are and here I am telling my business.  You guys are so nosy.

This past Friday, Husband (who is a construction project manager, urban planner and an almost-architect) and I (policy analyst, urban planner and badass) presented at Startup Weekend Jackson.  A startup is basically a new and scalable business.  So, the first time I heard of this event was last year.  I wanted Husband and I to participate but he thought it was too short of a notice. This year was also a short notice but I told him we had to pitch his idea.  Although the primary focus was technology and education, we pitched tiny homes in distressed areas of Jackson. Yes, I know this concept isn’t new but it’s new to Jackson.

30 mins before the event, I was too tired to go. Plus, I was supposed to attend another event. Husband still wanted to go so I figured we would “pitch” our idea, loose, go to my friend’s event that Friday night and use the remainder of the weekend to complain about my dissertation and binge watch TV. It didn’t go as planned… Out of 23 pitches, 8 were selected.  We were one of the 8. For the next 52 hours we would spend time forming a business group (people with supporting skills), developing a business model, creating a 5 minute pitch and presentation then the final pitch. Now that we were competing, I had to win.

We had to arrive at 8AM on Saturday morning. I was cool with that because there was breakfast *shoulder shrug* Additional team members included an accountant who is a sophomore in undergrad, a health, safety and environmental manager, and a friend who does basically the same thing as Husband. Overall, the group process was cool. I thought I would be the most difficult group member because (1) I don’t like people wasting my time and (2) I am a perfectionist. Interestingly, it was HUSBAND! I’m not sure if he was passionate or on his cycle.  Had we been on our own, he may’ve gotten punched in the stomach. Because we were in a group setting being watched, I figured I would take the high road. Plus, it made him look like the bad guy and I’m all for that. “Look at me, I’m just an innocent woman.”

*insert more good meals here*

A couple of hours before our final pitch, we met with pitch coaches. I thought we were cool until one coach rained on our parade. On one hand, she gave great advice. On the other hand, I think our concept went over her head. Here we are, broke and ambitious, pitching new and innovative housing in distressed areas. The nerve? After I thought, what are we doing? The group wasn’t going for it, we made a few changes to our pitch and not only did we win “crowd favorite” but we won 1st place *dabs on haters*

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You guys should recognize Husband and I.  I won’t list the other member’s names, you guys look like stalkers. We won awesome prices, are in the process of forming our business and putting tiny houses all over Jackson.  Vacant neighborhoods, the parking lot of Red Lobster, the drive-through of McDonald’s?

If I didn’t totally bore you, follow our journey on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.

Oh and follow everything Pink Gumbeaux, duh. Subscribe to my newsletter, follow me on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and Bloglovin, and check out my last blog post: Emojis Taking up Precious Phone Space: BGCMojis