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Yes, it’s a girl.

Most importantly, I survived 4 months of motherhood. By the way, the word “motherhood” still sounds super aggressive.

Note: Baby Gumbeaux drooled throughout the duration of this interview; thereby, contributing absolutely nothing . However, I thought it pertinent to include her drool as a featured writer. 

About Baby Gumbeaux

Baby is 11 pounds of attitude! She loves when we read and sing to her, laughs when we dance, yammers loudly about her day (in a language we don’t understand), can now grab small toys, drools a ton, lights up when called beautiful, occasionally displays the side eye, does not like strangers touching her hands (neither do I), and will scream if you remove her pacifier (which the director of her daycare learned the hard way). At this point, Baby is still sleeping in 3- or 4-hour intervals, it just depends on how busy her baby schedule was that day (translation: we still ain’t getting sleep).

About Fatherhood

Fatherhood helped me realize how much time I had (and no longer have).

Having a baby is expensive AF. We had some chump change saved but there is a host of unplanned expenses.

I think we need to work on Baby Gumbeaux’s resume and post it to Ziprecruiter.

Anything else about Fatherhood? You know, I’ve heard parents say they had nothing to live for prior to their kids and I don’t feel that way, lol. However, I do feel like she has always been apart of my life. It just seems like this is my reality, I don’t miss who Ashlee was before her.

She’s Daddy’s Sweet Sweet Baby.

Not relevant. 

I like to visualize what part of us she will have. I like to see how much she looks like me.

She does mirror you but has my personality. It is your face but my personality so I think that’s better. Anyway, the baby was barely out of my body before people started planning the next one. How quickly do people forget about the mental and physical trauma associated with childbirth. When I tell you I don’t want another kid, you’re silent. 

People don’t think about the pain and trauma because it’s your pain and trauma. So, it’s OK…

What? Lol. What do you mean “it’s OK?” 

*laughing* Because, I’m not the one in pain and trauma. Regarding other kids, I think she should have someone in life.

So, think about all the siblings we know. Not many of them are close. I think that “having someone” logic is bullshit. 

Think about your brother…

That doesn’t count, that’s an anomaly. Moving on, having a kid makes me think about my upbringing a lot. The things I want to model, the things I want to change. I wish I had the community I had. I had both my parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. All of these people had an impact on my life that resulted in who I am today (which may or may not be a contribution to society, I am not sure). Do you think about quality of life and education; particularly, since we’re trapped in Mississippi? 

I mean, yeah. Not only do I want her to have what I didn’t have, I want her to have what I did.

Note: Why can’t we just move? We can’t move because my husband is an awesome f***ing architect and developer and has big plans for Jackson that requires us to be here (and for me to support him). 

Do you have any comment on why we are stuck here? 

Women are to do as they’re told.

Whatever. Thanks, for this boring interview. Drool, your presence is much appreciated. Read and share my previous post: Good For You. Subscribe, like, and follow me @pinkgumbeaux.

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Music is one of the tools I use to prevent myself from slipping into middleagedhood (not a word). You know, that stage where you start complaining about music not being what it used to be. Thanks to Tiny Desk, I keep a pretty nice rotation of new (but old by the time I find out about it) music. Last week, Amine showed up in my queue.

Amine is Ethiopian, was born and raised in Portland, and built his rap skills by dissing rival high schools. Are rival high schools really a thing? Then again, I didn’t go to a real high school so I don’t know how these things work. In 2014, he released his first mixtape, was broke, blah, blah, blah, and here we are (or something like that).

At first listen, I clutched my pearls. Like most rap, it’s vulgar but then I remembered that I came from the “back that azz up” era and started enjoying it. My favorite songs are: Veggies, Caroline, Spice Girl, and Heebiejeebies. I like: Sundays, Turf, Blinds, Dakota, Slide, and Beach Boy. I detest: Yellow, Hero, STFU, Wedding Crashers, and Money.

The thing I love most is the random ad-libs from Charlie Wilson throughout the album. It’s quite the treat and actually works but what do I know? Read and share my previous post: Naturalversary. Subscribe, like, and follow me @pinkgumbeaux.

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In November, I silently celebrated my 10th natural hair anniversary. It was silent because you didn’t know. I didn’t mention it because I was a little preoccupied giving birth… Damn, you guys demand so much from me.

Anyway, the decision to “go” or “return” natural was a combination of no longer feeling like commuting to New Orleans (approximately 3 hours) just for hair and nails, being unable to find a good local stylist, and I got tired of waiting long hours (anything longer than 2 hours is a job that I need to clock-in and get paid by the end of my shift/appointment); most importantly, I became “woke.”

You know, that stage where you “return” natural, denounce organized religion, date a Muslim (my ex was a Five-Percenter), become angry at the government, and a google-expert in black history and the African diaspora.

It was tough. I had no idea what I was doing, it wasn’t popular (I don’t think I was aware of YouTube at that time), I tried a host of products, big chopped twice, blew out my hair to eliminate shrinkage, suffered from heat damage twice, and was ready to shave my head. Then, Mom suggested Sisterlocks.

That was the most important sentence in this blog post. Why? Because she’s always asking why I don’t mention her so not only did I mention her, she’s in bold.

Anyway, her recommendation was 4 years ago and it was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made (right above marrying Husband but below trying dark chocolate for the first time).

Although I’ve written extensively about Sisterlocks, let’s do a super brief summary *takes a deep breath* Yes, Sisterlocks are expensive, must be locked regularly (or you will damage your hair), requires no products, low day-to-day maintenance but results include super growth and hair envy.

Yeah, so you owe me a “Happy 10-Year Natural Hair Anniversary,” “Happy 4-Year Sisterlocks Anniversary,” and “yes, I am jealous of your hair.”

Read other posts about Sisterlocks, read and share my previous post: In Loving Memory of Breast Milk. Subscribe, like, and follow me @pinkgumbeaux.

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This post is not a cry for help, it’s a f***-this post!

Pregnancy, labor, and recovery were not what I envisioned. Don’t get me started! However, I knew there was one thing that would work out.

*looks at the moon because looking at the sun would be harmful*

That one thing was breastfeeding.

I was going to be a breastfeeding goddess. Breast milk would flow from me like a fountain. Like, one of those fountains at fancy events that has Champagne flowing from it but that didn’t happen. It never happened.

In the hospital, I did not produce a drop of milk and requested the lactation nurse at least twice a day and allowed her to aggressively grab and squeeze my boob, shove it in Baby’s mouth, try positions such as the football, was given a hospital-grade pump (I wonder how much that cost me), and left the hospital with a boatload of breastfeeding tips. Once home, I moved back and forth between Baby and the pump. Baby would never latch but who could blame her? There was nothing there.

I started asking for help from all the breastfeeding groups I was a member of. Naturally, conversations with other moms included the discussion of breastfeeding so I asked them for help but the best advice I got was to schedule an appointment with a local lactation doctor.

While waiting for that appointment and right before showering, I noticed that my bra was wet. I was so excited because it meant my breast milk finally came in. I immediately pumped and proudly added that half an ounce of breast milk to her formula but eventually grew agitated after a few days because I was not producing the amount necessary to replace the formula.

The day of my lactation appointment was a snow day and the south shuts down during snow days so the lactation doctor canceled my appointment. That day, I called my OBGYN and requested medication for postpartum depression. I felt overwhelmed. My mom had left, I was with Baby by myself while Husband worked, was in pain, sleep deprived and was still unable to produce milk. Note: I never got that prescription, was told I had to wait 6 to 8 weeks to ensure it was postpartum depression. By that 6th week, I felt better and didn’t need medication.

At Baby’s 2-week checkup, her pediatrician wanted me to keep trying to breastfeed, told me that women who have c-sections usually have to wait longer to produce milk and suggested I take fenugreek. I bought it immediately and started popping it like tic tacs. A couple of days later, I had that rescheduled appointment with the lactation doctor who suggested I triple the amount of fenugreek and pump 8 times a day. When would I have time to do this? I eventually succeeded at pumping 8 times a day but did not produce more than an ounce or 2 a day.

The process became tiring. I decreased the number of times I pumped then went a day or two without pumping. Baby was 2 months or so when I decided a decision needed to be made. Increase pumping or quit. Naturally, it was a tough decision but during Baby’s 8-week checkup, she told me a healthy baby was a fed baby. I had been told that a few times before. Finally, I made the decision. I said, “fuck this!” I put the pumps in storage, unsubscribed from all of those breastfeeding groups and accepted that Baby would be a commoner.

To the moms lucky enough to be that fountain, breastfeeding your kid until they’re 32, ease up on moms like me. Mommyhood is hard enough. However, this story is not all bad. As a result of not breastfeeding, my boobs won’t sag. My hair is growing even faster post pregnancy and my locs are glowing. This has nothing to do with this story but I thought you should know.

Oh, and the baby is doing well… 10 pounds now!

Read and share my previous post:  365 Inspirations for the Soul of the Side-Hustler and the Entrepreneur (Review). Subscribe, like and follow me @pinkgumbeaux and @babygumbeaux.







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Pink Gumbeaux’s review of 365 Inspirations for the Soul of the Side-Hustler and the Entrepreneur.

I’ve decided to be more productive with my late nights and early mornings by reading my backlog of books. Translation: I’ve run out of movies to watch and shows to binge. Instead of judging me, read the description of the book:

365 Inspirations for the Soul of the Side-Hustler and the Entrepreneur is an essential source of encouragement for today’s side-hustler and entrepreneur living in a 140 character digital world. Before you embark on a journey as an entrepreneur, you rarely consider the emotional trials that are sure to come, specifically: the Optimistic Phase, the Cautious Phase, the Discouraged Phase, and the Enthusiastic Phase. Finally, a book that provides you with a year’s supply of encouragement to accompany the four phases of entrepreneurship, including plenty of absolutely tweetable and Instagrammable quotes. It’s often hard to explain your plans, express your frustrations, or share your dreams with family and friends. We get it, that’s why each entry was inspired by the rollercoaster ride that is an entrepreneur’s lifestyle. Whether you’re on a high basking in your success, or daydreaming of what you would do if you could just escape your nine-to-five, these carefully crafted pages are filled with words that speak to the ambitions of each and every side-hustler and the aspirations of every entrepreneur. It will help you reenergize the confidence you need to develop a strategy, execute a game plan, and be bold enough to sell yourself or your product to potential followers and fans.

Well, that was a long-ass description. I’m fairly certain that you were able to conclude that this book should be read on a daily basis. Easy enough, right? Well, I didn’t exactly follow directions. Surprise, surprise. But, I have a really good excuse! So, I prefer to buy books digitally (because I’ve run out of book space in my apartment and digital books are cheaper), started reading this book over a year ago, forgot it existed, then remembered and would read several pages at a time, forgot it again then remembered a few days ago, and finished the last half of the book. As a result, I recommend buying the paperback version and placing it somewhere visible so you can remember to read your “inspiration” for the day.

Favorite inspirations:

“A free mind breaks through invisible barriers, a closed mind stops at roadblocks.”

“Success does not depend on what you know, it solely relies on how you use what you know.”

“If you think that nobody cares what you’re doing, remember there is always one person you don’t know rooting for you.”

“ Sometimes you have to write down your own lifetime achievements and award yourself for your accomplishments thus far.”

Speaking of inspirations, they are super motivational and some even rhyme. I was like “OK Ahyiana, you are giving me mixtape vibes” but I digress. Although women are the target market, men could totally benefit. Seeing the word “her” or “women” a few times shouldn’t scare you *stares* Anywho, this is a cool book but I bet it would’ve been more effective as a planner, calendar or app with automated “inspirations” to your phone every morning. Ahyiana girl, you’re welcome for the free advice. I mean, we are practically bffs since I now follow her on Goodreads. Anyway…

Learn about the author, read reviews and buy 365 Inspirations for the Soul of the Side-Hustler and the Entrepreneur Read and share my previous post: The Girlboss Workbook: An Interactive Journal for Winning at Life (Review). Subscribe, like and follow me @pinkgumbeaux and @babygumbeaux.

Ashlee, out!