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“GIRLS TRIP” FT. BABY GUMBEAUX

Last weekend, we took a short trip home, to New Orleans to celebrate a list of things Baby Gumbeaux didn’t agree to celebrate. For Father’s Day, Zaddy Gumbeaux ditched us to get some rest so it looks like it was just us girls which made this a “Girl’s Trip” Once back home, in Jackson and when Zaddy Gumbeaux walked through the door, Baby Gumbeaux proceeded to express her grievances, in no particular order, they include:

  • 2-hour drive, out past my bedtime.
  • Great Maw Maw and Paw Paw’s hot-ass house.
  • Waking me up for breakfast.
  • Mommy telling me I “can’t just eat the biscuit, that I have to eat the other breakfast.”
  • Paw Paw not paying attention to me.
  • Paw Paw paying attention to me.
  • Bath time.
  • Mommy combing my hair.
  • Paw Paw touching me.
  • Paw Paw not touching me.
  • Mommy walking out of the room.
  • Mommy getting dressed.
  • Mommy not paying attention to me.
  • Being sleepy.
  • Mommy making me take a nap because I am sleepy.
  • Mommy waking me up from my nap.
  • Car seat, again?
  • Hungry.
  • Other Paw Paw, why do I have two Paw Paws?
  • Lunch being too hot.
  • Fries.
  • Mommy telling me to “eat my own food,” I want her food.
  • Mommy not letting me drink her pretty drink, something about me being “underage.”
  • Shoes.
  • Socks.
  • More family. What’s a family? Who are these people?
  • Family talking to me.
  • Hungry.
  • Mommy cutting my food up, I am a grown and independent toddler who don’t need no man.
  • Me choking, Mommy should’ve my food up.
  • Mommy asking me to eat the other stuff.
  • Mommy touching someone named “her little brother.”
  • Some lady (aunt) touching Mommy, saying “it’s my Ashlee.” Who’s Ashlee?
  • Me Me touching Mommy, these people are the worse!
  • Some lady (aunt) giving me cake.
  • Some lady (aunt) not giving me cake.
  • Mommy making me leave. I won’t go down without a fight!
  • Chuck E. Cheese.
  • Mommy not letting me hold wine at Trader Joe’s.
  • Hungry.
  • Paw Paw touching me.
  • Paw Paw kissing me.
  • Mommy making me eat.
  • Car ride.
  • Hungry, why isn’t mommy feeding me.
  • Where is Daddy? I’ve asked this before.

Her constant outrage prompted my mother to give me a call, warning me to “prepare for her independence and strong will.” First of all, I’m from the 9th Ward. I ain’t scared of a 19-month-old who still uses a pacifier at home but isn’t brave enough to walk in her truth and use it at school. Secondly, my aunts and mom talk about my independence and strong will like it’s a curse. It’s hereditary, I get it from them. And, it’ll be nice to see where that attitude goes when molded properly opposed to endless punishment and nonstop church activities. Side note: Fairly certain, I’m still on punishment. If not, my mom will likely confiscate my phone and TV after reading this or maybe I will not pay her phone bill until she shows me some respect. I’m the captain now!

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