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TALKING GUMBEAUX

Names and details have been changed to protect the identity and privacy of the individual I’m judging. 

A couple of weeks ago, a couple of friends and I met up for cocktails, to see Deadpool 2 and to get into middle-age trouble.

Note: None of us are middle-aged. 

Shortly after the movie started, a very odd thing happened. My friend started talking but while the movie was playing. Have you ever experienced something so horrific? You probably have, if you’ve ever been in a theater full of black people. She congratulated actors (Zazie Olivia Beetz and Terry Crews) for “getting their coins,” provided commentary, and sung all of the songs. It was such a confusing experience, I may need counseling.

Overall, I thought it was funny and decided to briefly interview her. I wanted to get to the bottom of this phenomenon. Surprisingly, she complied.

Pink Gumbeaux: Have you ever been to a movie theater?

Talking Gumbeaux: Yes.

Pink Gumbeaux: I don’t remember if you had a cocktail during happy hour. If so, were you drunk?

Talking Gumbeaux: I had one cocktail but I personally pregamed before the happy hour… and on the way to the movie.

Pink Gumbeaux: Why do you people talk through movies? 

Talking Gumbeaux: To give credit to the actors and directors that had a hand in such great work. When I react, the film has earned my coins.

Pink Gumbeaux: You were really excited to see a couple of the actors and even yelled “yassss, get those coins.” Why Sway?

Talking Gumbeaux: As a consumer, I thoroughly enjoyed the presence of actors that are developing their careers and appearing in reputable films.

Pink Gumbeaux: Do you think your outbursts are linked to issues from your childhood?

Talking Gumbeaux: No, lol. I usually watch movies alone and never had to accommodate others.

Note: We were not in her living room but in a movie theater where I paid extra to reserve seats.

Pink Gumbeaux: You sung all of the songs. Why do you know so much classic rock from the 80s? You weren’t even born.

Talking Gumbeaux: My mother didn’t change the radio stations much and I worked in an arts and crafts store.

Pink Gumbeaux: If we ever go to the movies again (we won’t), will you behave like a good noodle?

Talking Gumbeaux: I don’t make promises I can’t keep sooo, probably not…. side note: the Incredibles come out this weekend.

Shout out to my friend for being a good sport, I would’ve never participated in bullshit like this. Oh well, follow me @pinkgumbeaux. Read my previous post, it’s basically 3 minutes of excuses: HELLO! IS IT ME YOU’RE LOOKING FOR?

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4 Comments

  1. Afraid to see movies with the general public

    I feel like I was in this same theater with you. Did you sit at the top of the theater? Was it a Friday? Alcohol involved? If yes I was there. It was horrific and scary. Especially when Terry Crews appeared. I swear I heard someone scream in excitement.

  2. Pingback: 7-MONTHS-OLD, UNEMPLOYED & STILL DROOLING | PINK GUMBEAUX

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