Names and details have been changed to protect the identity and privacy of the individual I’m judging.
A couple of weeks ago, a couple of friends and I met up for cocktails, to see Deadpool 2 and to get into middle-age trouble.
Note: None of us are middle-aged.
Shortly after the movie started, a very odd thing happened. My friend started talking but while the movie was playing. Have you ever experienced something so horrific?
You probably have, if you’ve ever been in a theater full of black people. She congratulated actors (Zazie Olivia Beetz and Terry Crews) for “getting their coins,” provided commentary, and sung all of the songs. It was such a confusing experience, I may need counseling.
Overall, I thought it was funny and decided to briefly interview her. I wanted to get to the bottom of this phenomenon. Surprisingly, she complied.
Pink Gumbeaux: Have you ever been to a movie theater?
Talking Gumbeaux: Yes.
Pink Gumbeaux: I don’t remember if you had a cocktail during happy hour. If so, were you drunk?
Talking Gumbeaux: I had one cocktail but I personally pregamed before the happy hour… and on the way to the movie.
Pink Gumbeaux: Why do you people talk through movies?
Talking Gumbeaux: To give credit to the actors and directors that had a hand in such great work. When I react, the film has earned my coins.
Pink Gumbeaux: You were really excited to see a couple of the actors and even yelled “yassss, get those coins.” Why Sway?
Talking Gumbeaux: As a consumer, I thoroughly enjoyed the presence of actors that are developing their careers and appearing in reputable films.
Pink Gumbeaux: Do you think your outbursts are linked to issues from your childhood?
Talking Gumbeaux: No, lol. I usually watch movies alone and never had to accommodate others.
Note: We were not in her living room but in a movie theater where I paid extra to reserve seats.
Pink Gumbeaux: You sung all of the songs. Why do you know so much classic rock from the 80s? You weren’t even born.
Talking Gumbeaux: My mother didn’t change the radio stations much and I worked in an arts and crafts store.
Pink Gumbeaux: If we ever go to the movies again (we won’t), will you behave like a good noodle?
Talking Gumbeaux: I don’t make promises I can’t keep sooo, probably not…. side note: the Incredibles come out this weekend.
Shout out to my friend for being a good sport, I would’ve never participated in bullshit like this. Oh well, follow me @pinkgumbeaux. Read my previous post, it’s basically 3 minutes of excuses: HELLO! IS IT ME YOU’RE LOOKING FOR?