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THE ULTIMATE GUIDE TO BEING KNOCKED UP

Turns out, there are some things you need to make this process comfortable. Just kidding, you will never be comfortable but check out the list of cool things I’ve bought or have been gifted since being knocked up.

Bella B Tummy Honey Butter ($14.99)

Being an incubator will likely result in skin stretching. My boobs, tummy and thighs are stretching; as a result, I planned to submerge myself in a tub of cocoa butter then insert myself into the freezer for the entire 40 weeks. Turns out, I didn’t have to take such drastic measures after reading a review of Bella B’s Tummy Honey Butter from Jessica Simien who later gifted it to me.

Tummy Honey Butter is the ultimate solution for the prevention of new stretch marks by maintaining skin elasticity and moisture deep into skin layers. Tummy Honey Butter is all-natural, hypoallergenic, contains no water, petroleum or lanolin and includes anti-itch ingredients to soothe those growing tummies. It includes key ingredients such as cocoa butter, shea butter, vitamins D and E, wheat germ oil, olive oil, avocado oil, jojoba oil, sesame oil, almond oil, and aloe vera. Tummy Honey Butter is the winner of the iParenting Award for excellence.

I would recommend using this as soon as you find out you’re pregnant with your spawn. My boobs and tummy grew overnight. While I am combating the marks under my boobs, I haven’t seen any on my stomach. Better safe then sorry, right?

PharMeDoc Hypoallergenic Pregnancy Pillow ($42.95)

I’ve been having trouble sleeping, found this pillow to be fairly popular and ordered it. After using it for a week, I’ve named it “my best friend.”

U shaped body pillow supports your back, hips, knees, neck, and head to help relieve pain and discomfort associated with pregnancy, sciatica, fibromyalgia, gastric reflux, and more. Features a detachable extension that can be used as its own body pillow, or attached the main body pillow for additional back or belly support, making this the perfect pillow for pregnant women and just about anyone else. This maternity pillow measures 56″ long, 35″ wide, and 7 inches high, making this the ideal contoured support pillow for your back, belly, legs, and neck… all in one. Zipper-removable cotton pillow cover is machine-washable, hypoallergenic, contains zero phthalates/latex/lead and is BPA-free.

This pillow is huge and super soft. I tote it between the bedroom and living room. It’s kind of like a wall of protection from Husband, the guy who trapped me.

AZMED Maternity Belt ($24.97)

To ease abdominal and back pain, a belly belt was recommended.

This belly band provides back support and helps lift the pregnant tummy to minimize the pulling forward and down of your belly, which often causes back pain. It effectively redistributes the weight of your pregnancy and helps make your back feel better.

Pressure and pain is inevitable. After all, you are carrying a growing load of unemployment. I felt immediate relief. Thanks for sending this Mom. I have to publicly thank her or she’ll give me crap about it.

BellyBuds by WavHello, Pregnancy Baby-Bump Headphones ($39.99)Bellybuds Replacement Adhesives ($7.99)

There are numerous debates regarding the effectiveness of music on your unborn child. Regardless, I think it’s kind of cool.

BellyBuds is a specialized speaker system that gently adheres to the belly and allows you to safely play memory-shaping sound directly to the womb. Whether it’s a soothing tune or a bond-forming voice message, BellyBuds is a safe and effective first step in connecting with your soon-to-be bundle of joy. Easy to use, discreet and good on the go, BellyBuds works anywhere, anytime.

Thanks to Godmother Gumbeaux for giving me her pair. I’ve created playlists on Spotify that include classical, pop, rock, gospel and brass (because Baby Gumbeaux is well-rounded) until Husband told me about:

Rockabye Baby ($8.99+)

So far, Baby Gumbeaux’s and my favorite album is Lullaby Renditions of Beyonce. I’m assuming Baby Gumbeaux likes it because I can feel internal twerking every time I play it.

Rockabye Baby makes rock music baby-friendly and kids music adult-friendly. Our award-winning rock lullaby series consists of more than 76 releases to date, including lullaby renditions of Bob Marley, The Beatles, Coldplay, and Adele. The resulting albums are revolutionary yet reverential. With over 1.6 million CDs sold and over 100 million streams, Rockabye Baby continues to be the brand of choice for music fans everywhere and makes the perfect gift for a newborn, new parents or yourself.

Baby Gumbeaux listens to Rockabye Baby on Spotify but will buy it via iTunes soon.

What to Expect When You’re Expecting ($10.68)

Ok, back to me. This book is the pregnancy bible, everyone has recommended it.

This cover-to-cover (including the cover!) new edition is filled with must-have information, advice, insight, and tips for a new generation of moms and dads. With What to Expect’s trademark warmth, empathy, and humor, it answers every conceivable question expecting parents could have, including dozens of new ones based on the ever-changing pregnancy and birthing practices and choices they face. Advice for dads is fully integrated throughout the book. All medical coverage is completely updated, including the latest on Zika virus, prenatal screening, and the safety of medications during pregnancy, as well as a brand-new section on postpartum birth control. Current lifestyle trends are incorporated, too: juice bars, raw diets, e-cigarettes, push presents, baby bump posting, the lowdown on omega-3 fatty acids, grass-fed and organic, health food fads, and GMOs. Plus expanded coverage of IVF pregnancy, multiple pregnancies, breastfeeding while pregnant, water and home births, and cesarean trends (including VBACs and “gentle cesareans”).

Once again, Godmother Gumbeaux saved me by giving me a copy (that I have yet to read). What? Have you seen how thick this book is? Someone send me a summary.

Pregnancy Maternity Flexible Belly Ring Retainer ($6.99)

I love piercings, got my belly pierced at 18 and intend on keeping it until I’m 94 or 95 years old…

Nickel & Allergy Free with a comfortable fit so it bends with your growing belly.

I was able to wear a normal-size belly ring for about 22 weeks. I selected the 1-inch retainer because who knows how big my stomach will get. It looked cheaper than I envisioned but I paid 6 bucks, what was I expecting? It was super easy to insert and screw on.

Honorable mention goes to flats (apparently this is very important to wear while pregnant), maternity wardrobe (bras, panties, dresses, shirts, pants and or jeans), nipple pads (for my fellow sisters that may experience early lactation like myself; apparently, shooting people with breast milk is frowned upon), heating and cooling pads (for those aches and pains because they won’t let you take the good stuff), pantyliners (because you never know what will fly out of your vagina), epsom salt (to soak your feet) and consider buying or bringing a pillow to your workplace if you have a shit chair like mine.

You’re welcome.

“Like” Baby Gumbeaux on Facebook, and follow on Twitter and Instagram. Read and share my previous post: Clouds & Crayons Live

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10 Comments

  1. Pingback: S*** HUSBANDS SAY TO PREGNANT WIVES | PINK GUMBEAUX

  2. Pingback: THE FINAL TRIMESTER & ARRIVAL OF BABY GUMBEAUX | PINK GUMBEAUX

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