Monthly archives of “July 2017

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Disclaimer: No feelings were hurt from the below comments, I actually find my Husband’s comments quiet entertaining. 

*clears throat* Now, to the list of things I hear nearly every single day.

“Have you taken your prenatal vitamin?” 
Never did he care about my supplement intake until he impregnated me with his spawn. At least twice a day, he asks me this and rarely believes me. I sometimes think it would be better for him to administer the supplement to me then speak to my belly and confirm Baby Gumbeaux has received the nutrients she needs.

“Why are you so gassy?” 
Listen, I am an incubator. I no longer have any control over my body. Unfortunately, I am most gassy early in the morning and at night, while in bed with Husband. It sounds worse than it is and doesn’t have a smell. It’s just Baby Gumbeaux using me to say “Hi Daddy.”

“You can’t be hungry again.” 
No, actually I am not hungry. I was accustomed to eating mac and cheese as a meal but YOUR baby is never satisfied so feed me.

“Stop blaming everything on the baby.” 
This guy acts like he has not been with me for 7 years. He knows I have not been this gassy ever in my entire life but will not blame anything on his precious seed. When confronted about this, he stated that he doesn’t know if he ever really knew me…

I was a DD before I got knocked up and don’t even want to guess what size they are now. What’s worse, I’m just 24 weeks so I know there is a chance they could double. This will likely result in me no longer needing to use my legs; instead, floating from room to room via my boobs. Nonetheless, he’s a man so he likes it. Which brings me to the following:

“I am going to get you pregnant.”
If you’ve been following me, have read the title, and or have read most of this post you know that I am already pregnant but he’s very attracted to my changing body. It’s kind of weird and I often fear for my life.

“I don’t think you can fit that anymore.” 

“Come on, let me grease you.” 
Translation: Let me apply the butter so I can help you prevent stretch marks but mostly because I am a perv.

Come here, let me put your belly belt on.” 
I can actually do this by myself but if it makes him feel like a helpful noodle, strap me up!

“You shouldn’t run, you look like a muffin with legs.” 
Just when I thought I could get a brief jog in, I quickly changed my mind because I now look like “a muffin with legs.” Power walk it is…

“You’re so pretty.”

Husband is looking forward to writing his blog post on my most frequent words and phrases which are most likely complaints. “Like” Baby Gumbeaux on Facebook, and follow on Twitter and Instagram. Read and share my previous post: The Ultimate Guide to Being Knocked Up

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Turns out, there are some things you need to make this process comfortable. Just kidding, you will never be comfortable but check out the list of cool things I’ve bought or have been gifted since being knocked up.

Bella B Tummy Honey Butter ($14.99)

Being an incubator will likely result in skin stretching. My boobs, tummy and thighs are stretching; as a result, I planned to submerge myself in a tub of cocoa butter then insert myself into the freezer for the entire 40 weeks. Turns out, I didn’t have to take such drastic measures after reading a review of Bella B’s Tummy Honey Butter from Jessica Simien who later gifted it to me.

Tummy Honey Butter is the ultimate solution for the prevention of new stretch marks by maintaining skin elasticity and moisture deep into skin layers. Tummy Honey Butter is all-natural, hypoallergenic, contains no water, petroleum or lanolin and includes anti-itch ingredients to soothe those growing tummies. It includes key ingredients such as cocoa butter, shea butter, vitamins D and E, wheat germ oil, olive oil, avocado oil, jojoba oil, sesame oil, almond oil, and aloe vera. Tummy Honey Butter is the winner of the iParenting Award for excellence.

I would recommend using this as soon as you find out you’re pregnant with your spawn. My boobs and tummy grew overnight. While I am combating the marks under my boobs, I haven’t seen any on my stomach. Better safe then sorry, right?

PharMeDoc Hypoallergenic Pregnancy Pillow ($42.95)

I’ve been having trouble sleeping, found this pillow to be fairly popular and ordered it. After using it for a week, I’ve named it “my best friend.”

U shaped body pillow supports your back, hips, knees, neck, and head to help relieve pain and discomfort associated with pregnancy, sciatica, fibromyalgia, gastric reflux, and more. Features a detachable extension that can be used as its own body pillow, or attached the main body pillow for additional back or belly support, making this the perfect pillow for pregnant women and just about anyone else. This maternity pillow measures 56″ long, 35″ wide, and 7 inches high, making this the ideal contoured support pillow for your back, belly, legs, and neck… all in one. Zipper-removable cotton pillow cover is machine-washable, hypoallergenic, contains zero phthalates/latex/lead and is BPA-free.

This pillow is huge and super soft. I tote it between the bedroom and living room. It’s kind of like a wall of protection from Husband, the guy who trapped me.

AZMED Maternity Belt ($24.97)

To ease abdominal and back pain, a belly belt was recommended.

This belly band provides back support and helps lift the pregnant tummy to minimize the pulling forward and down of your belly, which often causes back pain. It effectively redistributes the weight of your pregnancy and helps make your back feel better.

Pressure and pain is inevitable. After all, you are carrying a growing load of unemployment. I felt immediate relief. Thanks for sending this Mom. I have to publicly thank her or she’ll give me crap about it.

BellyBuds by WavHello, Pregnancy Baby-Bump Headphones ($39.99)Bellybuds Replacement Adhesives ($7.99)

There are numerous debates regarding the effectiveness of music on your unborn child. Regardless, I think it’s kind of cool.

BellyBuds is a specialized speaker system that gently adheres to the belly and allows you to safely play memory-shaping sound directly to the womb. Whether it’s a soothing tune or a bond-forming voice message, BellyBuds is a safe and effective first step in connecting with your soon-to-be bundle of joy. Easy to use, discreet and good on the go, BellyBuds works anywhere, anytime.

Thanks to Godmother Gumbeaux for giving me her pair. I’ve created playlists on Spotify that include classical, pop, rock, gospel and brass (because Baby Gumbeaux is well-rounded) until Husband told me about:

Rockabye Baby ($8.99+)

So far, Baby Gumbeaux’s and my favorite album is Lullaby Renditions of Beyonce. I’m assuming Baby Gumbeaux likes it because I can feel internal twerking every time I play it.

Rockabye Baby makes rock music baby-friendly and kids music adult-friendly. Our award-winning rock lullaby series consists of more than 76 releases to date, including lullaby renditions of Bob Marley, The Beatles, Coldplay, and Adele. The resulting albums are revolutionary yet reverential. With over 1.6 million CDs sold and over 100 million streams, Rockabye Baby continues to be the brand of choice for music fans everywhere and makes the perfect gift for a newborn, new parents or yourself.

Baby Gumbeaux listens to Rockabye Baby on Spotify but will buy it via iTunes soon.

What to Expect When You’re Expecting ($10.68)

Ok, back to me. This book is the pregnancy bible, everyone has recommended it.

This cover-to-cover (including the cover!) new edition is filled with must-have information, advice, insight, and tips for a new generation of moms and dads. With What to Expect’s trademark warmth, empathy, and humor, it answers every conceivable question expecting parents could have, including dozens of new ones based on the ever-changing pregnancy and birthing practices and choices they face. Advice for dads is fully integrated throughout the book. All medical coverage is completely updated, including the latest on Zika virus, prenatal screening, and the safety of medications during pregnancy, as well as a brand-new section on postpartum birth control. Current lifestyle trends are incorporated, too: juice bars, raw diets, e-cigarettes, push presents, baby bump posting, the lowdown on omega-3 fatty acids, grass-fed and organic, health food fads, and GMOs. Plus expanded coverage of IVF pregnancy, multiple pregnancies, breastfeeding while pregnant, water and home births, and cesarean trends (including VBACs and “gentle cesareans”).

Once again, Godmother Gumbeaux saved me by giving me a copy (that I have yet to read). What? Have you seen how thick this book is? Someone send me a summary.

Pregnancy Maternity Flexible Belly Ring Retainer ($6.99)

I love piercings, got my belly pierced at 18 and intend on keeping it until I’m 94 or 95 years old…

Nickel & Allergy Free with a comfortable fit so it bends with your growing belly.

I was able to wear a normal-size belly ring for about 22 weeks. I selected the 1-inch retainer because who knows how big my stomach will get. It looked cheaper than I envisioned but I paid 6 bucks, what was I expecting? It was super easy to insert and screw on.

Honorable mention goes to flats (apparently this is very important to wear while pregnant), maternity wardrobe (bras, panties, dresses, shirts, pants and or jeans), nipple pads (for my fellow sisters that may experience early lactation like myself; apparently, shooting people with breast milk is frowned upon), heating and cooling pads (for those aches and pains because they won’t let you take the good stuff), pantyliners (because you never know what will fly out of your vagina), epsom salt (to soak your feet) and consider buying or bringing a pillow to your workplace if you have a shit chair like mine.

You’re welcome.

“Like” Baby Gumbeaux on Facebook, and follow on Twitter and Instagram. Read and share my previous post: Clouds & Crayons Live

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We’re here!

As founder of the Frenemies of Jackson, I Want to Go Home and But There Is Nothing to Do Associations, I’ve worked hard to not assimilate. Sadly, I’m more informed about what’s going on in New Orleans than in Jackson. But after 14 years, I guess I can give Jackson a shot. Right? This means attending more local events which brings me to Let’s Talk Jackson’s 3rd Live show. Read about their first show here! This show was hosted by Chellese Hall and featured Clouds & Crayons (comprised of Astin Rocks, singer, poet and like 10 other things along with Loki Antiphony, producer and multi-instrumentalist). Their sound is described as a blend of electric, soul, rock, hip hop and R&B which could also be described as “all the above.”

Chellese saying something along the lines of “thanks for coming out, this group is awesome, download Satchel and listen to Let’s Talk Jackson.”

The format was a bit different because part of the interview was recorded without the audience. We were sitting next door where we should’ve been listening but was chatting so I actually listened to the interview a couple of days ago. At one point in the interview, I can hear laughter in the background; specifically, me. When I do actually laugh, it’s very loudly. I should also mention the room was filled with snacks and booze (that I couldn’t drink because westerners don’t support tipsy pregnant women). Anyway.

“lalalalalalalala, ohhhhh yeaaaaah!”

When you listen to the episode, songs are inserted throughout the interview but we got a full concert. 5 songs to be exact (Ugly Like Noise, The Nod, Contradiction, Dangerous Crush and Nightmare). My favorite is Contradiction because who can’t relate to that? We received the backstory behind each song and then were quickly impressed by how just 2 people were able to create such a large sound. I won’t attempt to describe the process which would probably be super disappointing to my musician/producer Dad.

I don’t know what to caption this one. Maybe guitar, guitar, button then guitar?

Last but not least, it was great meeting Astin in person (we’re Instagram friends). And, she was happy to know Pink Gumbeaux is a real person. Well, it depends on what you consider as “real.” I am pretty fake in my everyday life. Listen to their interview here, buy their album as well as one of those buttons for me (it looks exactly like the album cover and is super cute). Read and share my previous post: 48+ Faux Product Reviews

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Nearly 2 years ago, I started a blog series entitled “Faux Product Reviews.” I’m always excited to try new products and have been reviewing products since my blog’s inception. In contrast, I recognize that my reviews may not always be my ministry. I often don’t read instructions or ingredients (because I like to live my life on the edge) and sometimes it takes a while to determine a product’s effectiveness. Some products I tell you about immediately, some I use for a few weeks and other times I link reviews for you (because I am such a good noodle). As a result, I kept it real with you because while it’s somewhat informative, I don’t have all the answers *insert Kanye’s “you ain’t got the answers Sway hereNow that you know why Faux Product Reviews exist, let’s travel down memory lane to determine what I’m still using, what’s a bit… blah and what’s total bulls***.

Faux Product Review 1: Perfect Mattifying Primer sucked. Mostly because the pump was ineffective while I had a half of primer left. I did some research and found that other people had the same issue and for that price?

Faux Product Review 2: Vitamin Plus was recommended to me as a result of a facial; however, I’ve had better mattifying moisturizers and no longer use it.

Faux Product Review 3: Naked Tonic Curl Renew is something I still have and occasionally use; although, it is preferred that moisture not be added to Sisterlocks. The Sisterlocks Gods prefer the production of oil naturally; however, the water here can be super harsh so I spray it every now and then.

Faux Product Review 4: All Nighter Makeup Setting Spray is runner up to De-Slick Makeup Setting Spray for Oil-Control. With my oily skin, I am not likely to buy it.

Faux Product Review 5: Rosewater is still my favorite and I use it everyday; however, I dabble with other rosewater products.

Faux Product Review 6: Matte About You is still in my nail polish drawer. I use it when I feel like being matte which is rare. One thing I don’t like is that the matte top coat attracts residue which darkens nail color so yeah, you don’t really need this.

Faux Product Review 7: Apple Cider Vinegar smells like urine but is so effective for so many reasons. I use it twice a week for facials and pedicures.

Faux Product Review 8: Coconut Oil is another favorite. I use it to remove makeup and moisturize cuticles.

Faux Product 9: Velvet Noir Major Volume Mascara is my favorite mascara. I bought the full-size tube, bottle or whatever it’s called after I was done with the sample.

I used Faux Product Review 10: Light Reflecting Pressed Setting Powder while it lasted. There are better setting powders.

Faux Product Review 11: Tweexy is the most unnecessary product I have ever encountered in my life; however, I wish I would’ve come up with it so I can become rich from something that’s collecting dust in the back of your nail polish drawer.

Faux Product Review 12: Seche Dry Fast Top Coat is a staple and a cheap but effective top coat.

Faux Product Review 13: Veil Mineral Primer was OK. I did replace it a few times but remained on the hunt for something that would minimize my oily skin.

Faux Product Review 14: Fineliner Ultra-Skinny Gel Eye Crayon Eyeliner is my second favorite liner. I have it in both black and blue.

Faux Product Review 15: Mat Velvet + Mattifying Foundation was a favorite. I don’t have a legitimate reason why I stopped using it but wouldn’t mind revisiting it in the future should I start wearing foundation again.

Faux Product Review 16: Konjac Cleansing Sponge w/ Bamboo Charcoal was bomb and I need to replace it. Actually, let me order it right now.

Ok, I’m back. I still have Faux Product Review 17: Beautyblender Pro but haven’t used it in ages.

Faux Product Review 18: Tweexy Again! So, the first time I simply introduced the product. This time, I took the plunge and ordered this bulls***. As stated previously, it’s unnecessary and will increase the chances of you spilling nail polish everywhere.

Faux Product Review 19: Coconut Nail Art is for kids.

Faux Product Review 20: Seche Clear Base Coat is a bit blah. I actually went back to Deborah Lippman’s Hard Rock because I need a base coat that strengthens my nails.

I used Faux Product Review 21: All Day Luminous Weightless Foundation for like 2 days than returned it for:

Faux Product Review 22: Total Cover Cream Foundation which I really liked. Also, it matched my skin perfectly but due to the oily skin (which is worse since being knocked up), I’ve been taking a bit of a break from foundation.

Faux Product Review 23: Ole Glow VoxBox was probably my favorite VoxBox; particularly, since I was already using a lot of their products. I may buy the Power|bright kit in the future, I just haven’t been in the mood to spend 55 bucks and do additional skincare steps.

Faux Product Review 24: Midnight Blue Black was a waste of time and money.

Faux Product Review 25: NYX Butter Lipstick is a great inexpensive lipstick.

Faux Product Review 26: Konjac Cleansing Sponge w/ Complexion Clearing Clay is another favorite. I don’t think you can go wrong with any of their cleansing sponges but ensure you replace them in a timely manner.

Faux Product Review 27: NYX Cosmetics HD Finishing Powder is terrible. It’s basically chalk in a compact container.

Faux Product Review 28: Make Up For Ever High Definition Pressed Powder is better. I still have it but it’s no longer my go-to powder. However, I really don’t think these are for women of color. Don’t learn this lesson the hard way.

Faux Product Review 29: Model In A Bottle was recommended to me via Twitter and I wanted it to work so bad. It smelled terrible, burned and just did not work for me. Once again, oily skin prevails.

Faux Product Review 30: Endless Summer VoxBox was my second favorite VoxBox. I have both Max Factor’s Masterpiece High Precision Liquid Eyeliner and Masterpiece Max Mascara on today.

Faux Product Review 31: Mario Badescu Facial Spray w/ Aloe, Herb & Rosewater is my backup rosewater.

Faux Product Review 32: Vinosource Moisturizing Mattifying Liquid is probably one of the best moisturizers I have ever tried; however, it’s a bit costly for the size of their baby tube.

Faux Product Review 33: Perfect Intensity was a disaster but made for a funny story. It’s also one of those situations where I probably didn’t really follow directions. I am sure the color would’ve been more visible had I bleached my hair but I don’t want to damage it.

Faux Product Review 34: Intensive-C Radiance Peel is another product that I really wanted to work. It even burned a little so I thought it was cooking the oil and blemishes off but there were no real results after finishing the bottle. This is the first Murad product that sucked for me.

Faux Product Review 35: Aloe Vera is the holy grail. Although there are many uses, I apply it as a face mask.

Faux Product Review 36: Pink Gel Coat is my favorite top coat ever and I am awaiting my mom to buy me another bottle. Maybe I will add it to my wishlist so one of you can buy it for me *adds to list*

Faux Product Review 37: Melted Matte is another favorite. Moisturize your lips before applying because this will suck the life out of you. Your lips will look pretty but dry at the same time.

Faux Product Review 38: Broad Spectrum SPF 30 is still my go to sunscreen but I’ve been thinking about trying other sunscreens.

Faux Product Review 39: Sugar Advance Therapy Lip Treatment is my favorite but my gosh, it’s costly. I use this mostly in the winter.

Faux Product Review 40: Sugar Lip Polish is another favorite and I usually buy it every winter; however, I have provided an alternative because not everyone wants to spend 24 bucks for a baby jar of lip scrub.

Faux Product Review 41: Aloe Vera Toner is OK but has been recently replaced because I needed something a bit more aggressive.

Faux Product Review 42: Err Thang Perricone would be my favorite skincare system but I ain’t got it. Not for skincare anyway. I did see drastic improvement but yeah, their cheapest kit is 100 bucks a month so no…

Faux Product Review 43: Lavender is one of my favorite scents, I use it for aromatherapy.

I wanted Faux Product Review 44: Dermalogica Ultracalming Kit to work really badly due to the positive results as a result of the facial. However, I barely finished the kit. Like I’ve mentioned many times, pregnancy has given me acne and extra oily skin so I am not sure if it matters what I use right now but have found cheaper alternatives since dumping this.

Faux Product Review 45: Rock Hard Hardener & Basecoat was a waste. It was going to be impossible for me to follow the steps for optimal results because I LIKE NAIL COLOR. As stated previously, I ditched this and went back to Deborah Lippman’s Hard Rock

Faux Product Review 46: Naturally Dry Antiperspirant has been surprisingly effective. I am still using the same deodorant from this post.

I am on my second tube of Faux Product Review 47: True Complexion BB Cream. I love it but recommend adding a bit of concealer if you suffer from dark marks.

So far so good for Faux Product Review 48: Sacha Buttercup Setting Powder. Warning, do not get this stuff on your clothes, it does stain.

Well, that took forever. And, I’ve bought a boatload of new products over the last few weeks so I hope you’re looking forward to more almost, sort of… kind of reviews. You’re welcome. Read and share my previous blog: The Wedding of the Century