Monthly archives of “May 2017

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FAUX PRODUCT REVIEW 48: SACHA BUTTERCUP SETTING POWDER


I forgot how I found out about this. It was likely as a result of researching something else which lead me to YouTube reviews of this product then Amazon and here we are. Description:

Buttercup is a finely-milled, yellow-based setting powder. It is specially recommended for women with medium to deep skin tones. It can be used as an all-over face powder to highlight or set your concealer and foundation. It is a completely flash-friendly finishing powder and does not give off a white cast or turn ashy in bright lighting or photos. It absorbs oil, reduces shine and keeps your face matte for hours. Most women also purchase our flash-friendly Buttercup Compact to keep handy for quick and easy touch ups.

Additional features and details:

  • FLASH FRIENDLY – You never get a white cast or look ashy in bright lighting or photos
  • SPECIALLY RECOMMENDED – with medium to deep skin tones
  • SET – Use as an all-over face powder or to bake/set your highlights and concealer
  • FINELY MILLED – Fills in fine lines and pores for an incredibly smooth finish
  • OIL CONTROL – Absorbs oils, reduces shine and keeps your face matte for hours

Why do you need a setting powder? Setting powder “sets” your makeup to ensure it lasts and reduces shine. Well, that was easy.

So, I’ve been using this to set my BB Cream for a few weeks and have a lovely finish but by the afternoon, I have to reapply pressed powder because I look like a frying pan of grease ready to fry chicken. This could be a result of: (1) being knocked up, (2) sucky primer, (3) sucky finishing spray, (4) sucky skincare routine and or (5) being knocked up.

So do I regret this purchase? No. Should you buy it? I don’t know, why are you asking me? For more, visit Amazon.

Update: In Faux Product Review 47: True Complexion BB Cream, I mentioned that my grandmother was on a search for Fashion Fair and that I was hoping to help her transition but she located ANOTHER Fashion Fair counter at her local mall. My other grandmother fills in her brows with a black pencil *pours out liquor for lost causes*

Read and share my previous blog post: The First Trimester Ft. Baby Gumbeaux

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THE FIRST TRIMESTER FT. BABY GUMBEAUX 

Disclaimer: These are my symptoms, everyone is different. While my experience was not the worst, I am dramatic so it was the worst. 

My first symptom as an incubator was fatigue. I could barely get up in the morning, slept during my lunch break, fell asleep as soon as I got home and slept my weekends away. Although I increased my workouts for energy, it didn’t work. Actually, I am still quite tired and think I will take a break right now.

OK, I’m back. Next, was balancing hunger with nausea. I was accustomed to eating breakfast when I felt like it (which was usually a smoothie) and had appetizers for lunch and dinner but no. Baby Gumbeaux demanded I eat when I woke up then snack, lunch then snack, dinner then snack. I understand the new trend is to eat several small meals a day but that has not been my ministry. On the other hand, I am grateful that I did not suffer from excessive vomiting; although, I was really excited to vomit on people I don’t like. No wild cravings but I always have a really bad aftertaste which works out in my favor because when I say someone’s food sucks, I can now blame pregnancy and everyone should believe me but probably not. Mostly, because I just told you my plan.

I am not particularly fond of the teenage acne that has emerged. I pay entirely too much money for skincare and follow too many steps to look like Nestle Crunch and as stated in my previous post, I’m less “pregnancy glow” and more “soul glow.” Note: If you don’t know what I am talking about, please google that reference. Damn Millennials. 

One symptom that was very scary and is likely here to stay is cramping. I thought I left that shit with my menstrual period. Apparently, it’s as a result of of my uterus expanding and feels like Baby Gumbeaux is shanking me. I did not experience any spotting and no constipation. That’s for suckers.

Last but not least, pregnancy has resulted in the shortest patience on earth which is surprising because I thought I already had the shortest patience on earth. When some things bothered me, I would just ignore it or talk behind their backs but some of these people now get a response. A very nasty response. The kind of responses that could end relationships and do you know what my immediate reaction is after such wickedness? Laughing hysterically. A quote from a friend: “You will go down in history as the meanest, crankiest pregnant woman in the history of the world and nobody will ever say hey Ashlee, have another baby.” She then named me “Preguella DeVille” which I like and would like on a t-shirt. However, I’ve tried to avoid these situations and attempted to get advice. Luckily, I was able to vent to my pregnancy cohort in the “What to Expect” App and learned that we are all living in a constant state of rage. How cool is that?

Well, this was fun. Read and share my previous post: Faux Product Review 47: True Complexion BB Cream Don’t forget, I’ve created separate social media so I won’t stink up Pink Gumbeaux with baby stuff you care nothing about. “Like” Baby Gumbeaux on Facebook, and follow on Twitter and Instagram.

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FAUX PRODUCT REVIEW 47: TRUE COMPLEXION BB CREAM


Note: White sisters (and brothers), stick this out with me. While this product is not for you, the rant is applicable to everyone. 

While shopping at CVS for beauty products I didn’t need, I came across BB Cream. Eveything around me stopped. A light shined upon all of the BB Creams then I heard a voice say “buy it.” Is that you makeup god?

Makeup god talking to you is awesome but what is BB Cream? 

BB Cream (also known as beauty or blemish balm) hydrates, corrects, protects, conceals, moisturizes, primes and sometimes contains tent or foundation. Basically, it’s all your makeup needs in one. Surprisingly, I didn’t find my color (sarcasm) so I had to go back in time to 1955 to the colored section and came across Black Radiance’s True Complexion BB Cream:

This multi-purpose skin perfector evens and refines darker complexions with 10 skin care benefits for natural looking radiance. Exclusively formulated to enhance ethnic skin tones, the lightweight, oil-free beauty balm moisturizes, conceals, primes, smoothes and minimizes shine with blendable, sheer color and lasting SPF 15 protection. Apply liberally 15 minutes before sun exposure, reapply at least every 2 hours and use a water resistant sunscreen if swimming or sweating.

Oh, I would also like to add that you should consult a doctor for children under 6 months. Babies are so vain these days, what do they need BB Cream for? Anyway, of the 5 colors I selected “Chocolate.” It’s slightly darker than my skin tone but not very noticeable.

There were a host of good reviews, this seems to be one of the most underrated products. I got really good coverage which was shocking to me. To cover dark marks, I layer BB Cream or mix in a little concealer. In contrast, I am more oily than usual as a result of being knocked up. There is no need for me to reapply “every 2 hours” because ain’t nobody got time for that but it requires me to do everything I can to minimize oil and the application of pressed powder and rosewater midday.

Side note: My face produces enough oil to moisturize at least 5 ashy middle school-aged kids. Screw you “pregnancy glow!” 

Of course, I recommend this! First and foremost, it’s super affordable and can be found everywhere including the year of 1955. I even suggested it to my mom, friends and the grandmother who still uses Fashion Fair. Like, where is she even buying it? She probably has to buy it on AARP’s black market. Anyway, read and share what has grown to be this year’s most popular post: Hell Has Frozen Over, Pigs Are Flying & I’m Pregnant

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HELL HAS FROZEN OVER, PIGS ARE FLYING & I’M PREGNANT


Yes, you read correctly. The end of the times are near because the infamous toddler-hater is 13 weeks pregnant. So, how did I find out Husband trapped me? 

It was nothing we planned but not anything we were trying to prevent either. When you marry someone who wants kids, it’s inevitable. I literally had a dream where I was told I was pregnant, woke up, took a pregnancy test, screamed explicits then had it confirmed at my employer’s clinic.

My family and friends needed proof before believing I was knocked up. 

Most didn’t believe me but when I provided proof, excitement ensued from mostly everyone… Dad had a hard time processing it (likely because it forced him to realize I’m an adult and that he’s getting older). He’s come around now, has named baby “bun” (because bun in the oven) and has already asked to babysit whenever we travel. My grandmother (his mom) response was bland potato salad until I learned that she thought I felt pressured and was not going to celebrate my pregnancy until she knew I was OK. How does Ashlee feel? This is why she is my ride or die. Anyway, she came around shortly after and has now volunteered to babysit a week out of each mom #saynomore #thankyouinadvance

There are benefits to this pregnancy thing.

I’m coddled and everyone wants to feed me which is awesome because I am always hungry. I don’t have any wild cravings yet but nearly everything I drink tastes like pennies. Family is already volunteering to buy baby furniture and my grandfather stated that the baby will probably be spoiled which is rich coming from the man who spoiled me. Baby will be the first grandchild from my parents and Husband’s dad; as a result, I expect to buy nothing.

What’s next?

After the shock of being knocked up wore off (which is approximately 5 minutes ago), we started giving thought to how we plan to raise Baby Gumbeaux. I am hoping for a girl because who wouldn’t want Ashlee 2.0? Smarter, fashionable, sarcastic and a mouth that kept me in trouble? Yes, please! I am leaning heavy towards private school, the only decision that I’ve made that’s nonnegotiable. And, I already talk to baby a lot. It usually goes like: “Hey baby, what are you doing? Oh nothing? Well, it’s the perfect time for you to start thinking about your future since you obviously don’t have anything better to do.” I’ve also shared with baby a list of my enemies so baby can know who not to go to, who to vomit on and when to scream baby head off. 

If you haven’t guessed, I will be documenting my pregnancy and parenting journey and will likely have personal stories that may or may not affect if family and friends give me gifts at my baby shower. Because I stand in solidarity with other toddler-haters, I created separate social media so I won’t stink up Pink Gumbeaux with baby stuff you care nothing about. “Like” Baby Gumbeaux on Facebook, and follow on Twitter and Instagram.

Read and share husband’s blog post: Storytime 2: Dad, That’s Not a Limousine!

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STORYTIME 2: DAD, THAT’S NOT A LIMOUSINE! BY: HUSBAND

My dad assured me that if I got my driver’s license before prom that I could drive his Cadillac to prom. How excited was I? I studied and took practice tests in preparation for the exam. Of course, I passed and was excited to tell my dad. “Dad, dad, I passed the exam! I passed my driver license test!” My dad told me he was proud of me. I told him that I was so grateful that he was going to let me drive his Cadillac to prom. Then, my dad said “you’re not driving my car.” I said “buuuttt you said if I got my license, you’ll let me drive your car.” Then he told me he didn’t think I was ready for that type of responsibility but that he would do me one better. He told me that he would get a limo for me and “my little prom date.” I was like “a limo, for real? Dad, you’re the best!” I was bummed that I wouldn’t be able to drive the Cadillac but was like man, I get to arrive in a limo! This is going to be so great.

Its prom night, I’m getting dressed and anxiously waiting for my limo to arrive. My dad comes to my bedroom and informs me that my limo is outside. I walk outside, look around then come back and say “I don’t know dad, I didn’t see a limo but think there is a funeral going on down the street. Do you think the limo driver got lost?” He’s like no, that’s your limo. I was thinking “but that’s a funeral car.”

It has 6 doors.

It’s sky blue.

Then, he informs me that the driver is going to be with me all night so that I can take my time. I was like, “I understand and appreciate that but that is not a limousine, they still got funeral programs in the back.” I had two choices: 1. Take the funeral car or 2. Ask my date to pick me up and we get dropped off at prom. So, I got in the back of the funeral car and the driver attempts small talk with me. In my mind, I just want him to drive this hearse, pick up this girl and drop us off and take us home so I can forget about this day for the rest of my life.

We pick my date up, she says nothing. I could only imagine the thoughts running through her mind like “where the funeral at?” or “I know he did not pick me up in a funeral car.” We arrive at prom, dance and take pictures. Traditionally, people go out to eat after prom but there was no way I was rolling up to a restaurant in a funeral car. She felt the same way so I dropped her off and the nice funeral car driver man dropped me off. He was a great driver, I give him that. The way he turned those corners… He told me he hoped I had a good time; I walked inside, went to my room and cried. No, I didn’t actually cry but my dad ruined my prom and life.

It still hurts.

Read and share wife’s previous post: Token Talk Live