Monthly archives of “April 2017

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FAUX PRODUCT REVIEW 46: NATURALLY DRY ANTIPERSPIRANT

Source: Tom’s of Maine

My name is Ashlee and I am a sweater. I sweat in the winter, I sweat in the summer and I sweat when I’m nervous. Sometimes, I sweat in my sleep. Everyone has their cross to bear, mine happens to be sweaty which means despite the many claims that deodorant is harmful, I need to wear it or bring a floaty to ride the perspiration river.

So, what’s the alternative? Some people are lucky enough to ditch deodorant completely but for the rest of us in the real world, there are a host of safer options. I selected Tom’s of Maine’s Naturally Dry (if you couldn’t tell by the above photo).

Tom’s of Maine Naturally Dry antiperspirant sticks provide clinically proven 24-hour wetness and odor protection made entirely from ingredients derived from plants and minerals that meet our stewardship model for safe, effective and natural. Naturally Dry AP contains a wetness protection ingredient made from recycled aluminum (which was originally derived from natural mineral bauxite ore). The product also contains anti-microbial olive leaf extract, 100% natural fragrance and is free of artificial preservatives and animal ingredients, just like all our products.

So far, so good. I haven’t experienced sweaty pits; despite, only using it for a week or so. Also, this deodorant is half the price of what I usually pay for deodorant. In contrast, this deodorant is probably not at the top of a tree hugger’s list but if it’s good enough to be sold at Whole Foods, it’s good enough for me.

Whew, who knew deodorant was so important? For more information, ingredients and reviews, visit Tom’s of Maine. Read and share my previous post: The Story of My First & Last Canoe Trip

 

 

 

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THE STORY OF MY FIRST & LAST CANOE TRIP

Dirty little canoe, dirty little life jackets, dirty little paddles and my badass backpack.

I remember premarital counseling like it was yesterday. I was told to be Husband’s playmate so despite being scared of heights, I traveled into mountains and caves on our honeymoon. Despite not being able to swim, we went canoeing last weekend.

Previously, I was a bit bummed about missing the French Quarter and Ponchatoula Strawberry Festivals but was fairly over it. But guess who wasn’t? Husband. The entire week he secretly plotted on how to make the upcoming weekend awesome; although, I planned to attend a local event. Friday, he informed me that we were going canoeing and proceeded to shop for our picnic. My first thought? Is he trying to kill me? Surely he knows I don’t have the best life insurance, it’s best if he keeps me alive. So, I decided to be adventurous; although, I sort of kind of don’t like being outside, have skin allergies that are most active in the Spring and Summer, CAN’T SWIM, hate bugs, reptiles and whatever else lurks in the wild, and CAN’T SWIM!

We drove about 30 minutes outside of Jackson to D’Lo Park. Once we arrived, we had to complete a form stating we wouldn’t damage their already damaged equipment and to provide an emergency contact. Do you know who my emergency contact is? The guy who was taking me canoeing! Upon departure, we were given jinky directions regarding our canoe route. After 3 or so hours, we would see a big bridge that we shouldn’t go under or turn but try to park; although, it was washed out. Then, we should call the Park People to pick us up. We were confused because there are bridges along the route but whatever. We drove a few feet and met up with our dirty little canoe which contained 2 dirty little life jackets and 2 dirty little paddles. For 30 bucks, what was I expecting? Once in the canoe, Park Guy gave us a push and off we went!

Shortly after I killed the spider who tried to kill me.

Immediately after entering the river I exclaimed “I don’t like this.” We were closer to the water than I expected, there was more water than I expected, the boat was rockier than I expected and did I mention the canoe was dirty? Shortly after, I made eye contact with a spider. Why is a spider in our canoe already? Did he just get here or hopped in when he saw us so he could rob and shank us? After I MURDERED him (spider), I noticed we were the only people on the river. Not only were we the only people on the river but we are also black which increased our chances of being murdered (like the spider) and our bodies never being found. It was the perfect plot for a horror movie.

Canoeing is more difficult than I imagined. There were lots of bends (turns), fallen trees and rocks we had to dodge. Of course, Husband didn’t want me to help paddle. According to him, I didn’t know what I was doing which was interesting because he didn’t know what he was doing either.

Guess who’s having a blast in the dirty little canoe?

I was an anxious mess the entire time; although, I didn’t vocalize it much. I just hoped we would get down the river in half the time we were told (3 hours). Probably a mile or so into our trip, Husband turned the boat around. You guys, literally a mile down the river and maybe 30 minutes into our trip. He knew I hated it. Me: “But isn’t going against the current going to be hard?” Husband: “Canoes are made for this.” I think it took us the same amount of time to go back as it did to go down stream. As we approached the dock, I got into a paddle scuffle with a dragonfly. He kept trying to land next to me and I was like “no, I don’t know you and I don’t like bugs.” Husband: “Stop before you flip out of the boat!”

As we pulled up, there were 2 Bite-sized demons (kids) throwing rocks at our canoe. Had I not been scared to rock and fall out of the canoe, I would’ve thrown them back and wouldn’t have missed. Shortly after, we were pulled out of the water. Land! We had a picnic on the side of the river when Husband revealed the snakes and other wildlife he saw. If you can remember, I just got in a fight with a dragonfly so imagine how I would’ve reacted if I saw a snake. Overall, I’m glad I went. How else would I know I’m never going again?

Our view while eating lunch.

Read and share my previous post: Faux Product Review 45: Rock Hard Hardener & Basecoat

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FAUX PRODUCT REVIEW 45: ROCK HARD HARDENER & BASECOAT


I ran out of Seche Clear Crystal Clear Base Coat which was OK because I needed a new base coat to strengthen my nails. I immediately thought about buying OPI’s Nail Envy ($12 to $17 depending on where it’s bought) or Deborah Lippmann’s Hard Rock ($20) but then I saw Rock Hard Hardener & Basecoat. The name of the company is European Secrets and because I like secrets, the box was cute and it was only 5 bucks, why not?

Base coat and strengthener in one, Toluene and Formaldehyde free and protects dry nails. European Secrets Rock Hard Hardener and Basecoat produces stronger harder thicker nails and can be used alone, as a hardener, or as a basecoat. Creates a moisture shield that protects dry nails. Bonds together a cross-link of fiber proteins. Five times stronger than any other hardener.

I had high hopes for this because I like secrets and the box is cute, remember? However, after using it once a week for 3 weeks, my nails have not improved. They are not strengthened or rock hard hardener. Then, I read the pro tips:

When using as a hardener apply one or two coats daily the first week. As a base coat apply one to two thin coats,and let dry before applying polish.

OK, so its my fault because I didn’t read or follow directions? How come it couldn’t just…work? So, I’m going to give it another try by applying 2 coats when I polish my nails but probably will never apply it daily because I don’t wear my natural nails, ever. Under no circumstances. Never. My nails are always polished with bright color and full of attitude.

Anyway, shop Rock Hard Hardener & Basecoat at Sally. Read and share my previous post: Chewing Gum Season 2 in 5 Minutes or Less

Most importantly, read directions.

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CHEWING GUM SEASON 2 IN 5 MINUTES OR LESS


Season 2 of Chewing Gum has finally arrived to Netflix; although, I received several YouTube links of season 2 a month ago, I decided to wait with the rest of you commoners. A description for the bland potato salads that don’t know or watch this show:

Tracey’s back for a second season in Tower Hamlets. And she still doesn’t know what she’s doing when it comes to sex and relationships.

Watch the trailer here.


SPOILER ALERT! I am telling it all. Well not all, just maybe 91% of it.

This season contains a lot of sex and sex-adjacent activities. I’m not surprised that Tracey is a virgin at the start of the season, she was homeless the last time we saw her but a dirty homeless shelter did not stop her from trying to have sex with Conner. It was a mess (literally and figuratively) and ultimately resulted in the demise of their relationship. Speaking of Conner, he moved on faster than we all expected with a financially-stable hag that could benefit from a dental appointment or two.

The real MVP and a character that is completely slept on is Tracey’s younger sister. Cynthia reminds me of myself whenever it’s time to interact with other humans. She too became determined to find a man and loose her virginity. Too bad he turned out to be a thief (he robbed her family’s apartment) AND he’s her stepbrother. Oh! What a tangled web we weave. Also, lets acknowledge how well home girl made herself over; unlike, Tracey.

This season, we saw more of Tracey’s gay best friend and he was hilarious. He proved to be a better friend than Candice who is a shitty, self-absorbed skank ho. She abandoned Tracey while she was brokenhearted and homeless but also slept with her boyfriend’s Dad (who was kind of fine). Even after Tracey knew her cunt-of-a-friend slept with him, she still wanted a piece of Dad.

Let’s see, what else:

  • We saw more of Tracey’s mom who made her jump into missionary hoops to move back home and repair their relationship. Tracey singing hymns outside their building was funny.
  • Tracey still doesn’t know how to date. She dressed in tribal attire to fulfill the fantasy of her new “boyfriend” which made me wonder why does she only date white men?
  • Tracey’s ex-boyfriend/Cynthia’s ex-fiance is still sort of, kind of a closeted but not really.
  • Oh, Tracey finally lost her virginity but to a 16 year old (which turned out to be legal).
  • Tracey and Conner still have a thing for each other.
  • Tracey’s cousin is still a pervert and still in love with her.
  • Last but not least, a whole bunch of other stuff, people and story lines taking up space in the background.

No show is without fault. Michaela, please give us more and longer episodes! If I decided to take a potty break while the show was on, the season would be over by the time I returned.

If you haven’t, check out this show. It’s super hilarious and relatable if for whatever reason you became trapped in your strict, sheltered and Christian household as a an adult. I am so glad I left at 17 *stares at mom* Any who, who’s finished with season 2? How did you like it? Isn’t it so much better than The Get Down?

Read and share my previous post: 2 Years of Marriage ft. Husband

Filed under: TV
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2 YEARS OF MARRIAGE FT. HUSBAND


Last week, we celebrated 2 years of marriage *insert applause here* However, it feels like we’ve been married longer so I had to check the year we got married (via Facebook), lol. Maybe it’s because we’ve been together so long (5 years prior to marriage). 

Husband: Time flies when you’re having fun.

I told you I thought it was weird that we didn’t do a big celebration. I think we approach most holidays like that (such as Valentine’s Day at Panera Bread), why is that? 

Husband: We both have better things to do.

Since last year, we started a couple of businesses. So we live together and occasionally work together, yikes! Just kidding, I would rather have you as coworker. Plus, it’s not like we haven’t been coworkers before. 

Husband: This is true.


We just found out you passed the last exam necessary to become a licensed architect! How do you feel? 

Husband: Before I found out I passed, I envisioned getting the results early in the morning, playing Kool & the Gang’s “Celebration” and jumping in the bed and waking you up. But I didn’t think you would appreciate it. I feel like a tremendous burden has been lifted, now I can develop my own projects (both commercial and residential) and help upcoming architects. I just encouraged one of my coworkers to start taking his exam.

We have a lot of things planned for 2017, do you want to talk about some of those things? 

Husband: We are on track to start developing tiny homes, we are going to kick off our travel agenda, we are about to become homeowners, and you finishing school and becoming Dr. Kelly for the 99 and the 2000 (Juvenile reference).

Do you think I’ve changed since our last anniversary? Good? Bad? Do I even care? Lol. 

Husband: I think you’ve changed for the better. You are more conscious of who you are, your abilities and how your actions affect others.


Basically, I am getting soft. Over the past year, I think we’ve exchanged rolls a bit. Historically, I am a very action-oriented, do-it-right-now person but have been very hesitant about a lot of things; however, you’re like “just do it!” And, you even got me together about my dissertation. Basically, you told me stop being scary, wrap it up, and that it’s just a paper. Do you want to talk about that? 

Husband: I told you to stop being a little b****

Basically. I also want to mention a little ritual we have. Every morning and night, we talk about what we are grateful for, recite affirmations then a prayer. How do you you think that’s impact us?

Husband: A couple of those affirmations have come to pass.

Anything we should work on this year? 

Husband: Having more faith in spite of what’s in front of us.


Any advice for anyone who wants to get married, engaged or newlyweds? 

Husband: RUN, sike! Make sure you like the person you’re marrying. It seems obvious but you’d be surprised how many people get this wrong.

I think that’s great advice! I would also like to add “fed wife, happy life.” 

Watch and share my previous post: February & March HuesBox