Last month I published the award-winning, record-breaking blog post entitled “Gumbogate.” Personal stories are always among Pink Gumbeaux’s most popular posts but unbeknownst to me, it was a bit controversial so I knew I would have to revisit the subject matter.
A few months ago, I composed a more fitting blog description on both this site and all social media: “Snarky, cynical and deadpan blog featuring personal stories, faux product reviews and bad advice from Ashlee, your resident stick-in-the mud.” This is not only informative but a bit of a warning; particularly, to those who know me personally. Because I blog about my personal life, it is highly likely that my interpretation of whatever I experience will become a blog post. Now that we have that out of the way, let’s talk about the woman behind Pink Gumbeaux: ME!
My blog is truly, authentically me. I am very much a snarky, cynical and shady person. I can also be positive, helpful, and somewhat funny (so they say). Sometimes, blogging helps me cope and work through my own issues. The result is often an entertaining and humorous post.
Truth is, I didn’t want to go to Houston. I would rather be with my family, eating seafood and drinking daiquiris. Nothing against Husband’s family but I’ve been gravely homesick for the last few years. In addition, I take a very long time to warm up to people. I can feel the people who know me shaking their heads. Some in agreement and some in shame, lol. I’m talking months and years. I do not trust easily but have made some progress. And, the way marriage, compromise and my pockets are set up, I can’t spend every holiday with my family (but will make an effort to visit more often).
To the offensive part:
We we’re supposed to leave at 1 but then 1 hour passed, 2, 3…then 4! Finally, Diana Ross (mother-in-law) emerged and we left Houston shortly after 5PM and did not eat until about 6:30PM! Another near death experience. I did not even know my body could go that long without food. Whew, the great endurance I’ve displayed during this trip. Interestingly, I did not load my plate with food; although, I was super hungry. Husband’s family allows people who can’t cook to contribute to the meal. As I was adding food on my plate, I tried to mouth to Husband “who made this?” He could not read my lips so I didn’t take any risks. I got the basics: MY Mac and Cheese, Broccoli and Cheese Casserole, Dinner Roll and burnt ham (I was told it was left in the oven too long but it was aight).
If you’re going to be late, you might as well emerge as Diana Ross. Yes it could be viewed as a jab but people who know me well know I love Diana Ross. And I have blogged about being a picky eater, you have never met anyone as picky as me. According to Mom, she could only eat mashed potatoes and ham and drink lemonade while pregnant with me. So, it’s no secret that I love ham, mashed potatoes and lemonade. I eat a very limited selection of foods, am not willing to try new food and may actually eat something but from few sources (for example: King Cake from only the New Orleans Metropolitan Area and now Gumbo from only Louisiana). I will not change. You cannot satisfy me. I will survive. It’s not you, it’s me. Oh, and about that Christmas Ham, I don’t make the news I just report it. Side note: Church members, I know you guys are celebrating the end of your fast with a big feast, it’s highly unlikely that I will participate in aforementioned feast unless that person who brought Popeyes is bringing Popeyes again.
Last but not least, I do have some sort of a moral compass. Husband reads each blog post before I publish it (which means he’s partially responsible). I also discuss posts with Mom. There have been times she’s said: “Maybe you should call your Dad before you publish that post,” “you shouldn’t say that,” do you have to blog about everything,” and “do you have to curse so much?” There have been blog posts that I’ve edited after they were published (although she thought Gumbogate was hilarious).
So, I did apologize to Mother-In-Law and expect to get the side eye from Family Members-In-Law for the next few holidays (and probably family reunions) because they will wonder “is princess going to blog about us?” The answer will always be yes. Read and share my previous post: Jackson Indie Music Week-ish