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THE PICKY EATER’S GUIDE TO TASTY VOXBOX

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I received these products complimentary from Influenster for testing purposes (so don’t come for me unless I send for you). 

Shortly before Thanksgiving, I received a VoxBox full of stuff I don’t eat; as a result, I created alternative uses.

SPLENDA Naturals Stevia Sweetener (price $6.99)

A no-calorie sweeter that tastes great and helps you say goodbye to sugar.

I haven’t tasted chalk but am fairly certain it tastes like this. As an alternative, blow it into the eyes of your enemies.

Frank’s RedHot Original Cayenne Pepper Sauce (price $3.49)

Frank’s RedHot Original Cayenne Pepper Sauce is made with a premium blend of aged cayenne peppers that add a kick of heat and a whole lot of flavor to your favorite foods. The greatest taste of Frank’s RedHot made it the secret ingredient in the original Buffalo wings created in Buffalo, NY in 1964.

I know this may come as a surprise since I’m from New Orleans but I don’t use hot sauce. Herbs provide a sufficient amount of flavor; as a result, I recommend pouring this into a spray bottle and using it as a weapon. Test potency on morning people, tea drinkers, and individuals who smile.

SMARTMADE (price $3.99)

Introducing SMARTMADE by Smart Ones, a new premium range of thirteen delicious Meals inspired By You. SMARTMADE meals are made like you make them, using techniques like grilling, roasting and smart swaps, such as white bean puree for cream or couscous for white pasta – just like you do at home.

I received a free coupon for this but have evolved from frozen meals. Plus, that description scared me so I would recommend using this as a stocking stuffer for your dieting family member, friend or coworker.

Country Crock Buttery Spread (price $1.99-$3.12)

Country Crock Buttery Spread adds country fresh taste to family recipes and is made with real simple ingredients like delicious oils, purified water and a pinch of salt.

Not only did I receive a coupon for this but a cookie recipe. In contrast, if you deem spreads unhealthy apply it to your kitchen floor, set up a camera, watch as your roommate or spouse slips, and go viral.

French’s Original Crispy Fried Onions (price $3.49)

French’s Original Crispy Fried Onions are made with real onions for incredible flavor and crunch. Crispy Fried Onions are a delicious addition to any dish such as casseroles, potatoes, burgers, and salads.

This is country and highly unnecessary. I’ve only seen this on commercials but am fairly certain black people don’t eat this… Anyway, go to your local park and feed this to the pigeons.

Yogi Tea (price $4.49) 

Refresh your well-being with two intriguingly delicious tea samples from Yogi. The Yogi collection includes 60 varieties of herbal, green and black teas rich in delicious flavor and helpful purpose.

I recieved two samples: Green Tea and Cinnamon Berry. I am still fairly new to tea and not that experimental. As a result, I will likely prepare tea as one does (hot water and seeping) then pour it down the sink. Or, I can just give it to my younger brother who is a tea aficionado but I like my original idea better.

Kasha GOLEAN Dark Cocoa Power Plant-Powered Shake (price $29.99)

Fuel an active lifestyle Kasha’s GOLEAN Dark Cocoa Power Plant-Powered Shake that’s vegan, gluten free, Non-GMO project verified, and has 21g of plant protein. This isn’t just any chocolate shake; it’s carefully crafted with high quality Fair Trade dark cocoa to fulfill your deepest chocolate desire while adding whole food nutrition to your favorite smoothie recipe. With a clean, simple ingredient list plus added benefits like probiotics, sprouted legumes and other superfoods this plant powdered shake helps support your active life.

Couldn’t you guys just send chocolate instead? I am not f***ing up my breakfast smoothie like Influenster made me do with the last VoxBox they sent me. Mom, I’m sending this to you but maybe you can’t send it to your mom. As an alternative, add this to the eggnog at your office’s Christmas party; thereby, ruining the party that you didn’t want to attend in the first place.

Well, isn’t this the best VoxBox review you’ve ever read? You’re welcome!

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1 Comment so far

  1. Pingback: AWAKEN, MY LOVE! | PINK GUMBEAUX

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