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Guest blog post by Ashleigh of

As a woman, you are brainwashed into thinking that without a man you are pretty much useless and your entire life should be spent searching for a husband. Most blogs and books give advice about finding a good man, getting the ring, or how to attract a man. No one really stops to tell the single woman that she should be happy. They are too busy telling her something is wrong with her and she better fix it or she’ll die a lonely cat lady. But why are we constantly bashing the single friend and looking down on her? Your single season is the season of greatness, where you can find yourself and sing “I’m Every Woman” with pure confidence.

I have been in a relationship for over a year and truth be told, I sometimes get jealous of my single friends. Yes, I love my boyfriend and I am happy but being in relationship takes work. The people constantly shining light on relationships only speak about how joyous they are, they don’t talk about the days where you are wondering how you can kill your partner and not go to jail. If you are single and reading this, I want you to enjoy your single season because girl the work begins when you say “yes, I will be your girlfriend” and even more work when you say “I do”. I pondered on the things I miss most about my single life and these are the things you single ladies should be lucky to have. Here are my 5 reasons that I am totally jealous of my single friends.

5. You’re More Fit…

Have you ever seen your friends get in a relationship and 6 months later you’re wondering if they’re pregnant or not because of weight gain? Nope, they’re not pregnant, they’e just fat. Relationship weight is just like, if not worse than the Freshman 15. When you’re in a relationship, you feel you no longer have anything to prove so you can be fat and happy. Your man loves you for who you are so you just eat whatever you want. You also tend to eat out more and cook comfort meals because men like fattening foods. When I was single, I worked out way more because I was trying to stay slim and tight for my future Mr.Right. You are just more motivated for fitness in single season. My now 5 pounds heavier body is wishing I had that single life mindset of fitness.

4. You Clean When You Want…

When I was single, I was super busy so cleaning my apartment was a priority but it wasn’t the highest. I would throw clothes everywhere and leave dishes in the sink on nights where I came home too late. When you’re in a relationship, you can’t do these things. If you share a place with your man, he will complain. If he pops up on you and your place is dirty, he will complain. Now I tell my boyfriend if he wants it clean, then he can clean it himself! But that was only after I got him to fall in love. Men want a clean woman but when you’re single, you don’t have to worry about that. You can leave your mess where you want it because no one is judging you but you. Well you and your mom who swears she raised you better than that but she’ll get over it.

3. Me Time…

So many people take me time for granted, especially women. It is this belief that women will always want to be under her man so “me time” isn’t a big deal for her. Wrong! There will come a time when you’re tired and all you want to do is lay in bed alone and just be silent. That will be the day when your boyfriend or husband will want to be all in your mix. Men are big babies so they like to be under you. You could tell them “not now” but then what happens when you need them? They can tell you the same thing. You have to sacrifice time in relationships and you will do just that. So even during those times where you are craving me time, you will tell your partner “Yes, you can come over” just to keep the peace. Oh how I miss unlimited me time.

2. You’re More Focused…

I am a very focused person, in a relationship and out of a relationship, but I find that I was more focused when I was single. I think it is because I only had to worry about myself. I am an overthinker so I am constantly thinking about how something will make the people I love feel. Having extra thoughts of your partner clouding your brain breaks your focus. It also goes back to me-time, the more me-time the more focus. But being in a relationship forces you to share me-time so now you focus less.

1. You don’t have to compromise…

The greatest freedom I miss is doing what I want, when I wanted, with who I wanted. Relationships are all about compromise. What if he wants to watch a show you don’t but you always pick? Now you have to watch a boring football game because of compromise. Or what if you want steak but he wants fish but you always pick? Now you have to eat Captain D’s because of compromise. Or what if he likes the light off when he sleeps but you prefer it on? Now you have to wait until he falls asleep then turn the lights on so you can sleep because of compromise. I think this is the biggest misconception of being in a relationship. People think as long as they find someone who they’re compatible with that they won’t have to compromise much. Humph… you realize what compromising really means when you realize the tedious things in your life that you get to choose without anyone having a say.

So to all my single women, stop being jealous of married women and women in relationships and start appreciating your single season. You have plenty to appreciate, not just the five things I just mentioned. Don’t let society convince you that being single is torture because it isn’t. Being single is not having to worry about putting down the toilet seat before peeing. Embrace your single life and feel free knowing that your friends in relationships are totally jealous of you!

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  1. Britni

    LOVING this blog post! I’m single and have NEVER dated but have been feeling the burden of singlehood lately as I’ve entered my 30s. This was definitely encouraging for me and not just about being single but having that focused time to yourself. I’m in this Finding Myself phase where I’m trying to figure out who I want to be and what’s next in my life so its great knowing I can do that fully without caring about what society may think of that and my being single. Thanks so much for sharing!

    • I’m so glad you liked it and you will be seeing more from Ashleigh on the monthly basis! Have fun living that single life!

  2. This is kinda hilarious. It has taken some heartache, self realization and really dumb men to help me come to a place of enjoying my singledom.. but I really do miss having a consistent sex partner and someone bringing me food. With this list and your list of how to prank your husband, a man will be more than lucky to have me 😉



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