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Note: After being married for a year or so, I am now a self-proclaimed marriage expert and want to help you strengthen your marriage (for FREE)! You’re welcome.
Prank 1: Where is my cellphone? Prank length- 3 minutes or so.
Whenever Husband leaves the room, I hide his phone. Bonus: his phone is always on silent. Upon his return, he starts looking around, retraces his steps then usually comes to the conclusion that I probably hid it. I pretend to be insulted, he eventually finds his phone and I apologize.
Prank 2: Sing for entry. Prank length- 5 to 10 minutes.
Whenever Husband briefly leaves the bedroom or apartment, I lock him out and make him sing Motown hits before I unlock the door. Most times, I’ve already unlocked the door but he’s just out there singing his little heart out (which is OK because he has a pretty good voice).
Prank 3: Check yoself! Prank length- 2 minutes.
When Husband gets a little sassy, I like to spray him with air refreshener or toss baby powder on him. Warning: This could result in similar retaliation. I’m not sure how I got that baby powder out of my hair last time…
Prank 4: Attack your enemy when they’re most vulnerable. Prank length- 3 minutes.
Husband is a big guy compared to me so I usually attack late at night or early in the morning (when he’s sleepy). My method of attack is a headlock or to simply kangaroo-kick his ass out of bed. The distance from the top of our bed to the floor is about 2.5 feet so he makes a nice little thump when he hits the floor…
Prank 5: All the way up. Prank length- 1 minute.
If leaving for the day at the same time, I wait until he starts his car and pull his windshield wipers up. As a result, he has to park and get out of his car to put them down. I speed off.
Prank 6: I’m actually helping. Prank time- 30 seconds.
Sometimes, I like to slap candy out of Husband’s hand. I even tossed a half-eaten Snickers out of the window! I know it’s littering but watching the horror on his face is always worth it.
Prank 7: I just upgraded you, you’re welcome. Prank time- 2 minutes.
Like most married couples, I share a bathroom with Husband. Once while he wasn’t looking, I put wax on his arm and told him there was only one way to remove it *yanks strip of wax from his arm* Among all that hair was a little smooth, hairless patch.
Prank 8: Here, wash this too! Prank time- 1 minute.
Husband was being sassy again so I waited until he got in the shower then tossed his clothes in there with him. Might as well wash your clothes while you’re washing your body. That’s how you kill two birds with one stone ladies and gentlemen.
Ok, I guess I should be honest. I am no expert but am kind of evil and like to keep myself entertained by terrorizing my husband. Has Husband ever retaliated? Yes. Have I ever regretted it? NEVER! *insert evil laugh here*
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