Monthly archives of “August 2016

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GUIDE TO GROWING OUT YOUR BROWS 


Step 1: Leave them alone.

Step 2: Watch them grow.

It was that simple for me. Like many others, I got in the habit of overarching my brows and then drawing them into perfection. Then, one day it dawned on me that it made absolutely no sense. I should just grow them out and shape them.

I didn’t buy any special gel or serum (surprisingly). And, it wasn’t an ugly experience because I plucked a few hairs right under the arch and still used a brow pencil to create the brows I wanted. The brows I deserve.

It’s been 3 weeks and I now realize why I used to remove so much of my brow. My hairs are curly, thick, my brows are shaped weirdly, the right and the left look completely different, they twerk, throw tantrums, etc. but I just let them fly. I still use a brow pencil to attempt to get them in line but if you look closely (like Kim did yesterday), you’ll see my hairs fighting each other.

Whatevs.

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VENTILATED GRANNY PANTIES

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Source: Target

I think I’m getting old because this seems appealing…

Fruit of the Loom Breathable low rise briefs are just what you need to help you stay cool and fresh all day long. These panties are made with breathable, micro-mesh fabric that supports the flow of air. Tag free, soft leg bands and a smooth waistband provide added comfort. The women’s low rise brief panty sits just below the belly button and offers full seat coverage.

Let’s be real, it’s hot down there. Does the oven get warmer by the age or something? And you guys know all that lace and silk isn’t healthy. Do you want a yeast infection trying to be cute? You don’t see men strutting around in lace, I think.

It retails for $9.99  for a pack of 4, that’s a bargain! Anyone else digging these ventilated granny panties?

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GUIDE TO PULLING YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR…

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Ass. I thought putting it in the title was a bit much. Any way, the last two weeks have sucked but I’ve been working daily to pull myself out of it and thought I’d share some of my tips with you. Because I’m such an awesome and thoughtful person. You’re welcome. Anyway…

  1. Acknowledge that you’re experiencing a few shitty things, that you feel like crap but don’t stay there. Basically, get your head out of your ass.
  2. You’re not the only one going through tough times. Last weekend, I spent all weekend sulking. The entire weekend. On Sunday, husband got a call from a church member who didn’t have any food. When dropping groceries off, we found out he didn’t have electricity either. Everyone has their thing or worse.
  3. Take a bath. You guys, I take showers and rarely take baths. My water bill is already too high and the quality of the water is questionable so I reserve baths for places I can fill up the tub without anxiety such as my grandparents house (who have $12 bills) and hotels. Add essential oils, sea salt, epsom salt, coconut milk or Rosewater for a spa-like experience. After, you’ll feel super relaxed.
  4. Exercise. Exercise reduces stress, releases endorphin and alleviates anxiety. My go-to exercise these days is walking through my neighborhood and judging neighbors with husband and struggling yoga poses in my living room.
  5. Binge watch a TV show, get wrapped up in their fictional drama. In one week, I finished 2 seasons of Jane the Virgin. She just met her Dad, was accidentally artificially inseminated, had two men fighting over her and a whole bunch of other crap.
  6. Buy a journal, bitch there. Although sympathetic, your family and friends will get tired of you. If you’re like me, you’ll carry it with you so you can immediately express how you feel. “Dear Journal, I want to punch her in the face.”
  7. Do something special. Get a mani and pedi or buy yourself a cupcake or kick a toddler.
  8. Take a mini vacation. I almost always visit my family when having a tough time. Unfortunately, I don’t have the time to lay in Mom’s bosom and with all the flooding, I would have to take a boat into Louisiana. Another reminder that things aren’t so bad…
  9. Pray, meditate, smudge and repeat. Although it doesn’t seem effective (yet), I have a prayer squad. Just knowing that makes me feel better.
  10. Know that it won’t last… I think. 

Ok, who else is feeling it? Share your story, make me feel better. Send a virtual hug, you guys know I don’t like being touched…

If I haven’t made you depressed (even if I have) subscribe to Pink Gumbeaux, the NEWSLETTER, follow me on FacebookTwitterInstagram and Bloglovin. Read where it all started: Faux Product Review 28: Make Up For Ever High Definition Pressed Powder

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FAMILY REUNION: DAY 2

We started Day 2 with a little shopping at the Country Club Plaza. My last time there was very brief because I was a bit sick. After, we rushed to the hotel to freshen up and headed to the next round of events. 

I arrived in a dress and was only questioned about not being in the proper family reunion attire maybe 2 times. Moment of silence for that boss move.

… 

I spent most of the time in the kitchen (in the air conditioning) due to my chronic hives and me being bougie. Once I returned outside, I witnessed a family member teaching all the middle-aged women line dances. Then, the men were forced to get on the dance floor. Of course, I was on the sideline because, bougie. However, I did get a brief two-step lesson. An hour or so later, the family started to disperse with a group (the middle-aged women again) going to a Bootsy Collins concert. This was the perfect time for Husband and I to sneak to the Power and Light District.

We walked around a bit, got a bite to eat, had a bit of booze and hopped on the streetcar. I remembered that it was free and figured it would be a spontaneous adventure. I was right. A crazy got on the train and tried to pick a fight with another passenger. I was filled with delight but husband thought he was going to kill us all, he hit the “stop” button and we got off the train. He didn’t trust the guy but I was quite entertained. Another streetcar came a few minutes later and we rode it to the end-of-the-line at Union Station. We walked around a bit, rode the streetcar back to our car and headed back to the reunion where they were playing a mean game of Bid Whist (whatever that is). Then they brought out the bones (aka Dominos). I wasn’t raised in the devil’s playhouse so I don’t know how to play any of these games. 

So, this is Day 3 and I’m in the back of our rented SUV finishing up this blog post. We over slept as usual and decided to get straight on the road. Plus, I wanted to stop in St Louis at Sweetie Pies. While in line, I checked out the menu in which it boast of “Mississippi Style Cookin.” Being that I’m traveling back to Mississippi, I probably could’ve bypassed this stop. So, was it worth the stop and me derailing my diet? No. And, it hurts because I use their recipe for my Mac and Cheese! Any way, we have about 6 more hours on the road and we’ll be back home. 

On a petty note: Father-in-law dropped his phone on the backseat floor. Do you think I’m going to tell him? 


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FAMILY REUNION: DAY 1

Guys, I’m totally over it and “it” has just started. 

First, someone (husband) had the bright idea that we should leave at midnight. Of course, we over slept and left an hour late. Not too bad… Then, we picked up father-in-law who entered the car smelling like 22 packs of Marlboro. He spent the entire 10 hours on his flip phone and jamming to oldies but goodies. That flip phone has lasting power because I prayed it would die so I could get some sleep but it never did. 

We finally arrived at our hotel and it’s a casino located outside of Kansas City (away from everything but filled with old people on gas tanks spending their social security on the slots). The hotel room wouldn’t be ready for another 3 hours so I recommended my new favorite restaurant that I have been dreaming about since my last trip here (approximately 3 weeks ago). Oh, I forgot to mention that it’s now 11AM and I haven’t brushed a tooth, washed my face or anything else. So not only am I in a pissy mood but I probably smell like it too. Back to the BBQ, father-in-law starts complaining about the wait. Our table is ready 10 minutes after our arrival. Of course, the first thing I order is a cocktail because I’m at a 10. Luckily, the alcohol helps me ignore his complaints about if the BBQ is going to be good or not. Upon receiving our food he then talks about how well he BBQs and attempts to dissect how they cook theirs. I’ve been with Husband for nearly 6 years and have yet to taste anything from Chef father-in-law. And, don’t get me started on how his brother (uncle-in-law) gave me heartburn with them steaks but his chicken wings was fire. Oh and father-in-law did eat all of his “subpar” food. 

After was a brief visit with the family reunion host, the quickest nap in history, rushing to the runion and getting lost. Upon arrival, I asked “where is the booze?” and I felt like I could ride it out until the lengthy debate regarding why I should have children. From men. You know, because they’re so well versed in carrying and birthing a child, postpartum depression, and the challenges of balancing motherhood with a career. 

Last but not least was the family reunion shirt debate. I loathe uniformed shirts which can probably be attributed to PTSD from wearing school uniforms all my life or because they are always too big and of poor quality. Without my knowledge, father-in-law paid for the shirts and then shoved an XL down my throat. Note: I’m a small boo boo. I was ready to go so I didn’t debate it. I would just do the usual, put it at the bottom of a drawyer. But when we got in the car, father-in-law explained that the situation was “bigger than me” and that he paid a lot of money for the shirts. “Bigger than me?” You know, because our ancestors fought for us to have the right to wear neon shirts with our family name and drop it like its hot (but struggle to pick it back up) to Frankie Beverly and Maze. 

On to Day 2!

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