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DRUNK YOGA 

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Source: Giphy

Up until Wednesday, the last time I did yoga was in 2008 or 2009.  I attended a business networking event that fused yoga with booze opposed to the traditional business presentations and networking. They had me at wine, yoga was an afterthought.

According to the dictionary:

Yoga is any of the methods or disciplines prescribed, especially a series of postures and breathing exercises practiced to achieve control of the body and mind, tranquility, etc.

So, my first time doing yoga was weird. The room was dark (which means I wouldn’t be able to see if someone was trying to shank me), there was a diffuser spraying a light mist of essential oils (and possibly some type of mystery toxin), and soft music playing. Basically, an intimate setting. Is this yoga or the night of my honeymoon?

Then there was the yoga poses that I couldn’t quite get. I’m not flexible at all. This resulted in the yoga teacher putting her paws on me to help me into different poses. At the end of the class, we had to meditate and the instructor massaged us individually. Basically, I felt like I was a part of some sort of orgy.

This time around, I had a couple of glasses of wine before assuming the position(s). The poses were easier and could even be done at my desk at work. Like if I get annoyed by a situation, I just go into Downward-Facing Dog. After class, I felt super relaxed and even happy. I called my mom and told her to “stay positive” in which she responded with “you’re drunk as a skunk.” I texted my dad “I love you” and never received a response. I attempted to hug my little brother but failed. I sent virtual hugs to my friends via Facebook Messenger. And, it wasn’t just the booze because I felt the same the next day. Maybe I ought to incorporate this into my routine a few days a week.

Although the ladies of Joyflow Yoga did an absolutely awesome job instructing us, I am too poor for membership and will likely look up a few moves on YouTube.

Nameste.

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3 Comments

  1. Pingback: FAUX PRODUCT REVIEW 24: MIDNIGHT BLUE BLACK | PINKGUMBEAUX

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