and get as far away as possible.
Earlier this week, I had a conversation with a fellow blogger (hey Jessica) in which we discussed our distaste for nice people. After being on this earth for 30 years, I am convinced that nice people are the devil’s spawn and because I’m always looking out for you guys, I’ve created a preliminary guide to help you dodge these hell Angels.
- Nice people want to be your friend on demand. They don’t want to get to know you, cyberstalk you, test your hair follicle, obtain a blood sample or wait the standard 3 to 5 years. They just want to be your friend immediately, like a weirdo.
- Upon arrival, nice people will approach you like excited puppies. They can’t wait to speak to you. Make a u-turn, head back to your car and get the hell out of there!
- Nice people hug you with both arms opposed to the one-arm side hug.
- Nice people call, email and or text you “because they were thinking about you and wanted to reach out.”
- If you’re running late to a dinner
your husband made you attend, nice people wait for you to arrive before ordering their food.
- Nice people not only remember your birthday but send you a gift. If I were you I would sell it on eBay, get the cash and buy yourself an untainted gift.
- Nice people compliment you on your makeup, hair and attire. Go home, change.
Nice people will read this blog post and ask “what’s wrong with being nice?” If you’re that type of person, I will block you.