For the last few years, I’ve made friends four ways: (1) We have the same interests (usually work or school related), (2) We find each other intelligent and creative, (3) We’re introverts, and (4) We have a mutual hate for mankind.
As quickly (but mostly slowly) as I can make friends, I can cut them off. If you blink, you may miss the entire friendship.
Last Sunday, my younger cousin told me about a situation regarding her friends and a un-potential boyfriend when I told her to cut everyone off. They don’t have to go home but they do have to get the hell out of your life. Don’t we outgrow some of our friendships anyway? Off with their heads!
The following Tuesday, a friend and I had a conversation regarding another friend. In sum, I don’t like a side of complexity with my friendships so I cut them off to protect myself.
Friday, I got semi-drawn into a conflict with a friend’s
former best friend. Basically, I’m being blamed for my friend’s absence and even her dislike of her friend’s dislikeable fiancé. Between a demanding job, dissertation, awesome blog and new business, I somehow have time to destroy friendships? In typical Ashlee fashion, I think all parties should get the boot.
In contrast to the usual way I meet people and make friends, that same week I attended my first ever Meetup:
Meetup is the world’s largest network of local groups. Meetup makes it easy for anyone to organize a local group or find one of the thousands already meeting up face-to-face. More than 9,000 groups get together in local communities each day, each one with the goal of improving themselves or their communities.
I had just met our group’s organizer and was so drawn and inspired by her that I forgot that not only did I not know her but I would be meeting with total strangers. People I didn’t get a chance to Google or cyberstalk. Surprisingly, I had a blast. So much so that I agreed to be co-organizer and look forward to this set of new friends.
This emerging adult version of me is telling me that friendships shouldn’t always be beheaded. Naturally, one would conclude this is me avoiding being hurt. Duh… I typically learn lessons the first time around and would prefer to operate my life with minimal drama.
Wouldn’t I want a second chance? Rarely. Am I really that awesome of a friend? Well, I am fiercely loyal and will judge people with my friends so the answer is yes. Basically, I’m acknowledging that this may be something I need to work on. Or not… Note: Previous relationships are not subject to the new Ashlee. I still ain’t messing with any of you.
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