As I write this, I can hear Mom saying “do you have to blog about everything?” It appears I do Mother, it appears I do.
If you didn’t know, death sucks. It’s so…final. Unfortunately for my family, we experienced two deaths last week, in a 24-hour period. I know, thank you for your condolences.
I knew right away that I would probably be serving as a support system to a few family members. Something that could possibly be a challenge because it incorporates selflessness, empathy… Two characteristics I don’t necessarily have. After a nearly eight hour drive to and from the funeral, I came up with a preliminary list of how to…funeral:
- First and foremost, make sure the people you love know that you love them. If you knew they would be gone tomorrow, how would you treat them?
- There will be a lot of hugging and holding people up. You should start doing core exercises as soon as a date for the funeral is set.
- Don’t take pictures of the dead, that’s weird as f***.
- Make sure you prime and set your makeup. If your family is like mine, you’ll be taking pictures after you’ve been crying for two hours at the funeral.
- Prevent funeral brows (eyebrows) by applying eyebrows in good, bright lighting.
- Don’t talk about the dead and other associated family members at the funeral and repast like my petty grandfather. Wait until you get in the car…
- Don’t complain about the decease’s final resting place if you’re not contributing to said person’s final resting place. My grandfather and a few other family members debated if my uncle wanted to be cremated or if his wife was being cheap. Either way, there are two facts: (1) he’s dead so it really doesn’t matter and (2) or you paying or nah?
- Don’t serve gumbo at the repast if you don’t know how to cook gumbo.
- Stay in touch with those most affected. A year or so ago when my cousin died, I got his younger sister’s number. We are the same age and spent a fair amount of time together when we were younger and I hated that we reconnected under those circumstances. I texted her once. And here we are again, at her father’s funeral. I will do better staying in touch with her this time around.
- Basically I’m saying, don’t be funeral family. Only speaking when there is a funeral. I really don’t like family reunions either but maybe there’s a happy medium.
Bonus: Try to be a better you. After all, you’re still here.
1 funeral down, 1 more to go. Ugh…
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