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GUIDE TO… FUNERALS 

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As I write this, I can hear Mom saying “do you have to blog about everything?” It appears I do Mother, it appears I do.

If you didn’t know, death sucks. It’s so…final. Unfortunately for my family, we experienced two deaths last week, in a 24-hour period. I know, thank you for your condolences.

I knew right away that I would probably be serving as a support system to a few family members. Something that could possibly be a challenge because it incorporates selflessness, empathy…  Two characteristics I don’t necessarily have. After a nearly eight hour drive to and from the funeral, I came up with a preliminary list of how to…funeral:

  1. First and foremost, make sure the people you love know that you love them. If you knew they would be gone tomorrow, how would you treat them?
  2. There will be a lot of hugging and holding people up. You should start doing core exercises as soon as a date for the funeral is set.
  3. Don’t take pictures of the dead, that’s weird as f***.
  4. Make sure you prime and set your makeup. If your family is like mine, you’ll be taking pictures after you’ve been crying for two hours at the funeral.
  5. Prevent funeral brows (eyebrows) by applying eyebrows in good, bright lighting.
  6. Don’t talk about the dead and other associated family members at the funeral and repast like my petty grandfather. Wait until you get in the car…
  7. Don’t complain about the decease’s final resting place if you’re not contributing to said person’s final resting place. My grandfather and a few other family members debated if my uncle wanted to be cremated or if his wife was being cheap. Either way, there are two facts: (1) he’s dead so it really doesn’t matter and (2) or you paying or nah?
  8. Don’t serve gumbo at the repast if you don’t know how to cook gumbo.
  9. Stay in touch with those most affected. A year or so ago when my cousin died, I got his younger sister’s number. We are the same age and spent a fair amount of time together when we were younger and I hated that we reconnected under those circumstances. I texted her once. And here we are again, at her father’s funeral. I will do better staying in touch with her this time around.
  10. Basically I’m saying, don’t be funeral family. Only speaking when there is a funeral. I really don’t like family reunions either but maybe there’s a happy medium.

Bonus: Try to be a better you. After all, you’re still here.

1 funeral down, 1 more to go. Ugh…

If I haven’t lost you with this morbid post, subscribe to my newsletter, follow me on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and Bloglovin, and check out my last blog post: Bogus Book Review 2: One Week Budget.

I know it’s a lot to ask but you obviously have nothing better to do if you’re reading my blog 🙂 

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2 Comments

  1. Pingback: HOW TO…FUNERAL: BAPTIST CHURCH EDITION | PINKGUMBEAUX

  2. Pingback: THANK YOU AND GOOD NIGHT: TOP POSTS OF 2016 | PINK GUMBEAUX

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