Monthly archives of “April 2016

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EMOJIS TAKING UP PRECIOUS PHONE SPACE: BGCMOJIS


Let’s get straight to the point. Yes, Bad Girls Club is one of the worst reality shows on TV. The women are vulgar, behave like wild animals, and should be enrolled in obidence school. With that being said, I’ve been watching since season 1 (with the exception of the years Comcast pulled the channel but I would just wait until I visited my grandparents and watch it on demand at their house).

We all have our vices. What’s the difference between boxing and them? Between ballerinas and twerkers? Between wine connoisseurs and getting sloppy drunk before a night of wholesome fun? I feel your judgement, I won’t explain myself further. Instead, I’m trying to find out why I didn’t know they joined the emoji game?

Turn up your texts using Oxygen’s Bad Girls Club emoji keyboard, and relive some of the most classic moments from the show in honor of the all new season!

The keyboard includes over 50 gifs and stickers and are FREE! Of course, my favorite is anything Tanisha (i.e. Pop Off and I didn’t go no sleep cause of y’all, y’all not gone get no sleep cause of me.)

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If you’re an iOS user, download here. If you’re not, find it yourself ūüôā

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Filed under: TV
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FAUX PRODUCT REVIEW 18: TWEEXY (AGAIN)

Source: Tweexy

Source: Tweexy

Tweexy was the first “Faux Product Review” I had not tried (Read: Faux Product Review 11: Tweexy). First and foremost, I’m hating because I wish I would’ve thought of it first. If not thought of it, possibly invest in it. I got $5 on it (Luniz reference and don’t Google it). Description:

The Original Wearable Nail Polish Bottle Holder.¬†Your polish bottle is inserted into a bowl-shaped receptacle (‘the crown’). The crown fits all bottles, regardless of their size or shape and holds it securely. There’s a gripping feature at the bottom of the crown so your bottle will hold tightly. Open your polish with one hand simply by applying downward pressure on the bottle while twisting the cap. Tweexy has two rubber wings built into the form (we call them ‘squeeze-tabs’) that pull open the finger rings. We did this so you can move it from hand to hand with wet nails.

Against my better judgement, I ordered it and in pink (duh, don’t you know the title of this blog).¬†Packaging (OK), Tweexy (ugly in person) but does it work? Let me paint a picture for you: I sit on the carpet of my living room, my back is pressed against the wall and I lift my knees up, bend over and polish my toenails. I’ve been polishing my nails like this for years. It’s a bit acrobatic but it works for me. I put Tweexy on my left hand, insert the nail polish bottle, place my hands on my thighs¬†then proceed to polish my fingernails. My thoughts:

This bottle feels too heavy for this contraption.”

OMG, the nail polish is going to spill out.”

F*** this!”

I pulled it off and continued polishing my nails as usual. I do want to point out that I may have been unsuccessful because I didn’t have my hands lying flat. As previously stated, I polish my nails on my thighs, at a slant. I will try again at a desk or table. ¬†That way, I won’t feel like the nail polish will flip out; thereby, ruining the carpet and me not receiving my rent deposit back. I wants my money.

So would I recommend Tweexy?¬†So…yeah, subscribe to my newsletter, follow me on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and Bloglovin, and check out my last blog post:¬†Succumbing to Tidal While Sipping Lemonade

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SUCCUMBING TO TIDAL WHILE SIPPING LEMONADE 

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Source: Giphy

Kind of an awesome title, right? It came to me during church while I should’ve been paying attention to the sermon. Anyway…¬†On Saturday, Beyonc√©’s visual album entitled Lemonade debuted on HBO (I think). I’m not entirely sure because it could’ve been released on HBO before, during or after it was released on TIDAL. Speaking of TIDAL, they finally got me.

I’ve always understood its existence but was cool with Pandora and Spotify which are both free. Then, I deleted them because I needed more space on my phone. Most recently, I’ve been leaning heavily on YouTube where I can create playlists and also listen for free.

When Kanye told us his newest album would only be available via TIDAL I started thinking about subscribing but wasn’t convinced. Then, Rihanna released her album but I was still a bit unbothered. It took Beyonc√© to nudge me. Lucky me, they offer student rates so it’ll only cost me $4.99. Since then, I’ve listened to Beyonc√©’s entire album a few times, Prince (RIP), Faith Evens and Maroon 5. Initially, I thought TIDAL only had music from Jay Z and his homeboys but there is a very large catalog. Oh and it includes other exclusive crap I don’t care about. For a 60 day free trial, use this link. You’re welcome.

So, I like Lemonade but it’s likely that the music will have to grow on me. It’s different, which I like but I’m not totally obsessed. The song I like least is “Don’t Hurt Yourself” featuring Jack White. I was surprised because I’m a fan of Jack White but not today. Of course I have to blame him, I can’t directly blame Beyonc√© for fear for my life. So far, my favorite song is “Love Drought.” However, what I favor most is the visuals and it has nothing to do with me being from New Orleans and favoring the Louisiana backdrop.

Source: Giphy

Source: Giphy

Source: Giphy

Source: Giphy

Source: Giphy

Source: Giphy

As with anything Beyonc√© does, fans, scholars and conspiracy theorists try to dissect the lyrics. Did Jay Z cheat? Is Rachel Roy a home wrecking whore? Is Beyonc√© the new voice of feminism and black nationalism? Is she the new leader of the new world order? The answer is I don’t know. I should be writing my dissertation instead playing around with you guys.

Have you watched and or listened to Lemonade yet? Did TIDAL get you too? Is Beyoncé the Antichrist? What do you think?!

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Thanks, Management.

Source: Giphy

Source: Giphy

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I WORKED OUT AT THE POLICE ACADEMY AND NEARLY DIED

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As usual, I’m over exaggerating…

A few weeks ago, I was asked to serve as my department’s representative for my employer’s wellness committee. At that meeting an officer informed us that they hosted FREE workout classes, 3 times a week at the police academy. I told her I would try it out, I’m down to mix up my workout routine. Then, it dawned on me that I’m going to go to a police academy to workout… From physically fit police officers… Another dumb decision on my part, typical Ashlee.

Upon arrival, I was informed that I should sign a release form. I should’ve walked out. I was then informed that I should stretch so I did some cute stretches then started tweeting you guys.

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Then, someone rolled up on me like “you may want to stretch.” And I’m thinking “back up off me, I’ve already stretched my brother.” Turns out, he was one of the instructors. Once class started he told us, “this is going to be tough, get mentally prepared.” So, why didn’t he tell me this when I pulled up? When I walked in? When I signed the attendance form? When I stretched, twice? I should’ve walked out.

An obstacle course was laid out across the gym. We had to do push ups, lift giant ropes, jumping jacks, the mountain climber exercise, squats, crunches, more leg exercises, laps, more leg exercises, laps and you’ve probably guessed it…MORE LEG EXERCISES.

The most important lesson I learned was teamwork. Instead of laughing at people, you’re supposed to motivate them. It was my first time, no one told me. Another reason teamwork is important is because if we didn’t do the excercises in sync, we had to start all over. Ain’t nobody got time for that!

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After an hour, the class just ended. No cool down, no soothing breathing exercises, and no stretching. Just “good work and come back if you want to be fine.” So the big question, am I going back? After being warned with a release form? Double stretching? Wheezing? A full body ache? Of course I am! I WANT TO BE FINE!

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Oh and shoutout to the new friend I made. I suffer from chronic hives and came in there all swollen. She was like “girl, I have hives too.” Then, we discussed all the medications we were on and how none of them work. Anyway…

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AN AFRICAN CITY (SEASON 2)

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Source: An African City

I think I’ve threatened you guys twice about an African City (Read: An African City and An African City Pt. II).¬†Well, this past Sunday was their finale and I plan to give you enough info to peak your interest but not enough for you to bypass them (again).

As requested (because they make all of their decisions based on me), there were longer episodes, a longer season and their was growth in their characters as well as the character’s experiences. Subject matters included but were not limited to the pressures of dating and marriage, homosexuality, skin bleaching, sex and abstinence, rape, returnees, careers, the cultural divide between Africans and African Americans, utilities (or lack thereof), and natural hair. Most importantly, let’s take a second to admire the fashion:

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Source: An African City

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Source: An African City

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Source: An African City

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Source: An African City

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Source: An African City

An African City, how can we shop the clothing, shoes and accessories? Do they ship to the United States? How can I be down? Also, I freaking love that necklace *drools*

Oh and the music was really good too.¬†MaameYaa Boafo (who plays Nana Yaa) even played the lead in Abiah’s Gone¬†which was also featured on the show.

If you blatantly ignored me, watch Season 1. If you’ve completed Phase 1, pass Go, collect $200 and proceed to Season 2. Note: This is a Monopoly reference, you will not be getting $200 from me.

If you’re late to the party, you’re at an advantage. You get to binge watch. I didn’t have that much restraint, I had to watch as soon as I received the email with the newest episode. ¬†And, shout out to An African City for being so engaging. Even the leading ladies joined in on the conversation when we recapped their episodes.¬†But seriously, can you guys tell me where to shop or nah? I’m not opposed to free clothes, accessories, shoes, a pencil…¬†

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Filed under: TV