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Source: Tumblr

Source: Tumblr

It was just last month (Read: Thoughts During My Semi-Annual Dental Exam) when I had my dental exam. Once again, they were concerned about my wisdom teeth and encouraged me to schedule a consultation with an oral surgeon. Of course, I blew the dentist off. What does he know? I’ve had my wisdom teeth forever and it’s not always necessary to get them removed.

I went back to my usual: working, being paranoid about my dissertation, avoiding people and dabbing on my haters until I started feeling a little pain this past Sunday. Each day it intensified so I proceeded with the consultation, obtained a prescription for antibiotics and pain and scheduled the extraction (April 1st). Thing is, I have a very high tolerance for pain medication so…I’m still in excruciating pain but hopefully the antibiotics will take care of that in a few days.

My wisdom teeth are backstabbing bastards. First, I have 6 of them. One in particular is laying horizontal, off on its own, doing what the hell it wants. That tooth won’t be able to be fully removed. The dentist said something about it effecting a nerve and possibly loosing feeling in my bottom lip so…yeah, go ahead and leave half of that mutha there. Due to my particular case, I should expect to experience hell-like pain for 48 hours and a longer than usual recovery. Oh joy.

This got me thinking, what have I done to deserve this? I’ve listed some things I can change in exchange for the universe forgiving me and removing my pain. In no particular order:

  1. Giving up my resting bitch face for a “genuine” smile.
  2. Not picking fights with toddlers behind their parent’s backs at grocery stores.
  3. No longer judging women who line their lips and eyebrows with black liner.
  4. No longer wearing tights as pants on weekends.
  5. No longer wishing they would cut the scenes of Kim Fields from the Real Housewives of Atlanta.
  6. No longer wishing that the guy with the lace front locs get killed off the Walking Dead.
  7. No longer mentally covering my ears every time the choir sings. It’s not them, it’s me.
  8. No longer threatening my brother when he eats my leftovers. What’s mine is yours little brother.
  9. Maybe, possibly…forming relationships with new family (i.e. My stepmonster stepmother).
  10. Not judging Jaynae for not wearing color (Read: Panic! At the Lip Color).
  11. Not making my mother-in-law watch marathons of Big Freedia: Queen of Bounce again.
  12. Cleaning my car trunk.
  13. Not being socially weird at church and “touching” my neighbors as instructed.
  14. Limiting my use of emojis.
  15. Not wishing that men with cul-de-sac hairlines would just shave all of their hair off. Do you boo.

Just writing this list is easing the pain or the Hydrocodone just kicked in… When you know better, you do better. When you do better, your mouth won’t hurt and you won’t have to get your wisdom teeth removed. I hope to have changed at least one life with this post.

God bless America!

Stalk me on social media @ Pink Gumbeaux on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and Bloglovin. While you’re at it, check out my last blog post: Faux Product Review 12: Seche Dry Fast Top Coat



  1. Haha this is hilarious! I love that list.

    When I was in high school, I got nine teeth, including baby teeth that wouldn’t fall out as well as wisdoms, removed. Luckily I was put to sleep but I was in pain and looked like the elephant man for about two weeks.

    Prayers up, sis! I’m wishing you a quick and painless surgery + recovery. But there are perks: lots of sympathy, resting, time to binge watch everything, doting and gelato as a meal replacement 🙂



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