Monthly archives of “March 2016

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FAUX PRODCT REVIEW 15: MAT VELVET + MATIFYING FOUNDATION 

Source: Sephora

Source: Sephora

I didn’t have an issue with Ultra HD Invisible Cover Foundation but I get super oily in the warmer months and have been dying to try this foundation.

I’ve requested this from Sephora Beauty Advisors twice. On both occasions, I was told my makeup is flawless and that I should stick to my current routine. Of course it is but… Can I get that Mat Velvet? Please.

Most recently, my color was sold out in Ultra HD so guess who bought Mat Velvet?

Hides imperfections, evens out skintone, and mattifies with a non-oily, perfectly powdered finish. The result is flawless and lasts for hours.

Of course, there are things I use to mattify my skin (moisturizer, primer, pressed powder and setting spray). However, that’s usually not enough to keep me oil free throughout the entire day. The foundation looks really good, provides full coverage and has done well fighting that hating ass oil that creeps up on me later in the day. After using for about 5 days, I’m pretty satisfied. I will continue to use this one during the warmer months and switch back to Ultra HD when it’s cooler.

Retailing for too much $39 and available at Sephora.

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1 YEAR OF MARRIAGE FT. HUSBAND

Right after our courthouse nuptials

Right after our courthouse nuptials

Yesterday, we celebrated our one-year anniversary *insert cheers and applause here.* Honestly, one year has not differed much from 6 Months of Marriage. Sharing of the bank account and closet is still blah, late night snack runs is still a thing, and his cousin is still bitter. Just yesterday he told us, on our anniversary “1 year is great, wait until you’re married for 5.” Note: This fool hasn’t even been married for 5 years! 

It’s kind of cool having an automatic support system and best friend. Husband, what about you?

I didn’t have any preconceived expectations, I just know I’m with a person I want to spend the rest of my life with. 

Awww…

Husband wanted to take a selfie, I did not.

Husband wanted to take a selfie, I did not.

Our apartment has been a mess, you have a lot of stuff.

I need all of those things…

I’ve had a few, internal challenges. Not anything triggered by you, possibly society. I’ve fought being what’s considered a traditional wife. I have a career and am working on a PhD yet a lot of people think being married is the greatest accomplishment a woman can have. “How often do you cook for him?” “When are you having kids?” As if my existence is to produce for everyone but myself…

In the beginning of our marriage, I made a concious effort not to be influenced by anyone and especially “society.” You cooking for me and having my babies is not something that should be done in response to society but in response to make one another happy. 

On the inside, I’m whiping away a single tear. Moving on, when can I get a kitten?

You don’t have time for a kitten. 

unnamed

So, we’re building a duplex together. Building design by you, interior by me.

Tentatively, interior design by you because you may get fired. So, what are three things you didn’t know about me until we got married?

  1. You sleep like the Tasmanian Devil (Looney Toons reference)
  2. You struggle with mornings, it takes you forever to get out of the bed.
  3. I knew you were nice but like you’re like level 100 nice, to everyone…for no reason, lol

What about me?

  1. You use a lot of beauty products and various “serums.” What’s a serum? 
  2. You’re addicted to reality TV shows.
  3. I didn’t realize you didn’t know how smart you are. 

I didn’t know I would become so protective of you. I don’t want anyone to take advantage of you.

I’m a big boy, I can handle myself. I didn’t realize that being married to you for 1 year and being with you for over 5, I can still look at you and say “oh, she fine!”

…Thanks honey. That’s another thing I like about you. You compliment me everyday. Sometimes multiple times a day. Any advice for newlyweds?

Remember this: Marriage is a privilege and not a chore. Always look at your spouse like a blessing and you’ll never take it for granted.

For me, I would recommend drinking plenty of water, keeping people out of your business and avoiding all the bitter married people. I’m talking to you cousin… … … It’s really fun. Continue dating and try having new experiences. Anything we should work on?

Not eating past 7PM. 

Right! And we need to ensure we are at the gym, consistently. Note: We are writing this as we eat a Chipotle Baja Brownie topped with vanilla ice cream and tequila caramel. 

Husband giving me a tour of his new gig.

Husband giving me a tour of his new gig.

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FAUX PRODUCT REVIEW 14: FINELINER ULTRA-SKINNY GEL EYE CRAYON EYELINER

Source: Sephora

Source: Sephora

Well isn’t this a mouthful? Marc Jacobs couldn’t call it an “ultra-skinny crayon?” They had to use every single adjective available to describe this eyeliner? Anyway, I got a sample of this last week.

Create a wide-eyed look with Marc Jacobs Beauty’s Fineliner Ultra-Skinny Gel Eye Crayon. It captures the ease and glide of award-winning Highliner Gel Eye Crayon in a revolutionary ultra-thin, two millimeter, unbreakable tip. Featuring a transformative gel formula, it lines on precisely for flawless application and sets in place for all-day wear.

I’m sure you’ll be happy to know it’s free of parabens, sulfates, and phthalates. All the fun stuff. So, I don’t know if my liner went down the wrong assembly line but this isn’t “ultra-thin.” I mean the container or whatever you call it is thin but not the crayon; however, the size is perfect to me. I like the formula and the application is easy. But if you make a mistake, you will need eye makeup remover to correct it. Once you put this liner on, you’ll need a jackhammer to remove it.

Should you buy it? This product retails for 24 bucks so I would recommend it to makeup enthusiasts. For everyone else, visit your nearest Walgreens *Kanye shrug* Shop “long-ass name for an eyeliner,” here! You’re welcome.

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SEATTLE 

The people of Seattle are weird. I kept thinking that I would either be shanked or swept away by a tsunami or earthquake (See Weather Channel’s “It Could Happen Tomorrow”)

Although they are super friendly (genuinely, not fake like people in the south), some don’t believe in personal space. In particular, the homeless community. There were a lot of homeless people, homeless dogs and even homeless people from the transgender community. Something I’ve never seen before… Actually, I almost got into a scuffle with one. While waiting for the city bus (because we wanted to be locals), I took a picture of bus stop art:

Source: Pink Gumbeaux

Source: Pink Gum beaux

Well, the heffa thought I was taking a picture of her and went off! I thought I was going to have to “square up.”

Seattle is beautiful, clean, cold and expensive. It’s surrounded by water with mountains in the backdrop:

Source: Pink Gumbeaux

Source: Pink Gumbeaux

There is a host of new housing and development which is likely due to the many companies headquartered here.

We did a lot of walking and even took the Seattle Center Monorail from Westlake Center Mall to the Space Needle:

Source: Pink Gumbeaux

Source: Pink Gumbeaux

And luckily, we had good weather most of the time we’ve been here. In addition to my boring conference sessions, I was able to take a Land and Water Tour, ride to the top of the Space Needle, take an underground walking tour below the streets of Seattle (boring), visit Pike Place Market, the Museum of History and Industry (boring), take the Banbride Island Ferry to Banbridge Island (duh), and watch a movie in their old ass IMAX.

Surprisingly, the food was really good. My favorite was Biscuit Bitch and not because I like saying “Biscuit Bitch.” Well, mostly because I like saying “Biscut Bitch.” Biscuit Bitch… I ordered a biscuit, eggs, bacon and garlic grits. Note: Husband said “Don’t expect grits out here, they only do that in the south.” Humph.

Source: Pink Gumbeaux

Source: Pink Gumbeaux

Just one day left on my trip and I’m ready to call my brother and have him ship my stuff here. I don’t want to leave but, life…

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Biscuit Bitch.