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MARRIAGE BOOT CAMP: MINISTRY EDITION

Source: WEtv

Source: Wetv

This past Friday, Husband and I participated in a “marriage connection” event hosted by the church.  In my head, I had known about this event for a week or so.  They very well could have made several announcements and Husband could’ve talked to me about it; however,  we were scheduled to see the Dance of the Lion King (hosted by a local community college) so…I didn’t give it any thought. In the event you didn’t know, I am now a refined and cultured individual who attends local theatre productions as one of many pastimes.

In contrast to my plans, Husband suggested a compromise: He would forgo ANOTHER church event on Thursday so we could attend the OTHER church event on Friday. Did you read my tone in that capitalized, bold text? Any who, one could only imagine my excitement. Do it now. Imagine my excitement because I was in fact, not excited.

Upon arrival, I noticed one too many cars. “There are a lot of cars here which means a lot of people.” *Husband responds to me as if I am 5-years old* “No, everyone drove in separate cars.”

As we entered the restaurant, an excited church member greeted us. “Hey, I’ve never met your wife!” Me: “Hi I am Ashlee, nice to meet you” *walks off* You guys, I don’t necessary (not always, maybe most of the time) mean to be an a**hole, I have a hard time pretending to be interested in people, things or places I’m forced to go.

Once inside we had to take a picture; although, I did not want to because I won’t reach my ideal weight until Summer. After, was the “ice breaker” which included writing 3 things no one knows about me on an index card, dropping it in a box, pulling a card and guessing the person on the card. The perfect game for someone who suffers from social anxiety and is an introvert. Want to know what I wrote?

  1. I do not like socializing.
  2. I want to be a crazy cat lady.
  3. I have over 150 bottles of nail polish.

What I really wanted to say:

BvKQELs

An older lady guessed me. The card I pulled had two descriptions: (1) I got married in the mountains and (2) something about adopting stray pets from the side of the road. The church I attend is multicultural and because I don’t know any black people who would get married in the mountains and adopt the animal kingdom, I started to count the white people in the room. The second person I walked up to was my person, lol.

After we got that crap out of the way, we ate and had to introduce our mate, look them in their eyes and tell them why we appreciate them. Couple after couple gave loving speeches, ending with a hug or kiss. Then, Husband and I. Husband: “This is my wife Ashlee and I appreciate you for pushing me to do instead of just talking about it.” Me: “This is my Husband Akili and I appreciate you for taking me to see the Dance of the Lion King last night.”

After, there was a testimony from a couple who had been attending some type of beta test marriage group, a discombobulated presentation from marriage experts and my favorite: the end! We left with sparkling apple cider and chocolate which should’ve lead to a steamy night of martial bliss. I went to sleep.

Overall, it was not the worst experience of my life but hopefully my last “marriage connection.” I’m not saying there aren’t things I can’t learn, I’ve been married for only 10 months but my preference is one-on-one opposed to a couples love fest:

Source: Tumblr

Source: Tumblr

Side note: Husband and I were listed as sponsors, I wonder what else he has sponsored behind my back…

Stalk me on social media @ Pink Gumbeaux on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and Bloglovin for updates to your inbox! While you’re at it, check out my last blog post: Bogus Book Review 1: The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a F***

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1 Comment so far

  1. Pingback: MY FIRST SPIN CLASS  | PINKGUMBEAUX

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