Monthly archives of “December 2015

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STEPMAS

For the last couple of months, I’ve made it clear that I really wasn’t looking forward to Thanksgiving with the in-laws, that I preferred my family. My home city.  This may have lead you to believe that everything with my family is peachy. For the most part, it is. I spend time with family in increments; therefore, I never have the opportunity to get bored or annoyed. Smart, right? However, there is one particular request my Dad would like me to comply with: Stepfamily.

I have been uber protective of my parents since I can remember. While they’re all doe-eyed, I’m in the background like:

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Source: Tumblr

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Source: Tumblr

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Source: Tumblr

Like many other kids around the world, young or old, our opinion doesn’t matter. In my case, there was a very quick courtship then I’m at their wedding.  Its like it happened overnight because it did.  So, the perception is that we are going to be this perfect, blended family. I am pretty satisfied with my original parents and sibling so what role could a stepfamily play in my life? Christmas is in a few days so I don’t have much time to figure things out; as a result, I’ve come up with the following:

Alternative 1: Give my award-winning fake smile, half hug, minimal eye contact, unnecessary small talk and lie about calling more often.  For this alternative to materialize, my Dad would have to give me an awesome Christmas gift.  Everyone wins!

Alternative 2: Avoid them and drop their gifts off at the nearest post office.  They should arrive fairly quickly since we’ll be in the same city.  This one is my favorite.

In all seriousness, the courting stage rarely includes the kids.  With a year of marriage under their belt, it would be nice if both parents would allow our family to blend more organically.  I’m sure I’ll come around in 10 to 45 years…

If I don’t get a chance to chat with you before Christmas, Merry Christmas!

I am 92% done with the new site: pinkgumbeaux.com. Although I will continue to have a presence on Blogger, it will no longer be my main blog *insert tears here* Till then, you know I need friends so “like” Pink Gumbeaux on Facebook and follow me on Twitter, Instagram, Rabadaba, and StumbleUpon. While you’re at it, check out my last post: Faux Product Review 4: All Nighter Long-Lasting Makeup Setting Spray.

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FAUX PRODUCT REVIEW 4: ALL NIGHTER LONG-LASTING MAKEUP SETTING SPRAY

I didn’t see the sample size of De-Slick Makeup Setting Spray so I brought the All Nighter Long-Lasting Makeup Setting Spray also by Urban Decay.  I didn’t think it would make much of a difference. So, this spray boasts that it “keeps makeup looking just-applied up to 16 hours.” Who’s wearing makeup for 16 hours straight? Maybe prostitutes…

Because Urban Decay is one of my favorite brands, I assume it’s going to be effective but you know what people say about assumptions (it makes an ass out of you and me). Anyway, it’s really hard to tell if this does what it’s intended to do.  I do use a makeup primer that does most of the heavy lifting as far as how long my makeup stays on *shoulder shrug* The sample retails for 14 bucks and is usually located near the checkout counter. For more info, visit Sephora.

I am 92% done with the new site: pinkgumbeaux.com. Although I will continue to have a presence on Blogger, it will no longer be my main blog *insert tears here* Till then, you know I need friends so “like” Pink Gumbeaux on Facebook and follow me on TwitterInstagram, Rabadaba, and StumbleUpon. While you’re at it, check out my last post: Faux Product Review 3: Naked Tonic Curl Renew.

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FAUX PRODUCT REVIEW 3: NAKED TONIC CURL RENEW

Some time ago while home visiting family and getting ready for the day, my mom walked into the bathroom and exclaimed “your hair looks dry.” I almost replied “yo mama” but remembered that her mother was my grandmother and I didn’t want those types of issues. She then pulled out Naked Tonic Curl Renew and sprayed my hair a few too many times if you ask me.

Description: “Enriched with keratin and a signature blend of honey and sweet almond oil so that the hair is kept strong and well moisturized. It is a very light yet powerful formulation that keeps natural and relaxed tresses looking healthy, and feeling soft, shiny, and manageable.” Source: Essations

Interestingly, my hair sucked up the moisturizer, became super soft, and stayed shiny for a handful of days. Note: Sisterlocks does not require moisturizer because it generates its own but some days, it needs help. Don’t call the Sisterlock police, snitch. Once I left town, I was on the search for this stuff but could not find it. What kind of super, secret cult spray was this?  Because she had the plug from her hairstylist, she got a couple of bottles and would ship me one.

*waits for bottle*

*waits for bottle*

*waits for bottle*

Two or three months later, I finally received it. My mom (who was sooooooooooo busy) finally sent it. I would recommend this spray to everyone.  I only use it once a week which means I’m getting way more than my mom’s money’s worth. Thanks girlfriend! The Tonic retails for 12 bucks and can be found here. And yes, I know the picture doesn’t say what I’m blogging about but the cult doesn’t have a picture of it.

I am 92% done with the new site: pinkgumbeaux.com. Although I will continue to have a presence on Blogger, it will no longer be my main blog *insert tears here* Till then, you know I need friends so “like” Pink Gumbeaux on Facebook and follow me on Twitter, Instagram, Rabadaba, and StumbleUpon. While you’re at it, check out my last post: The Squad Induction.

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THE SQUAD INDUCTION

This past weekend was quite eventful for a hag like me. I attended two graduations, two graduation celebrations and a birthday party. Immediately following my friend’s graduation from grad school, we went out for food and drinks with her family and friends. They all heard a lot about me, I hope she made up a few good stories about me. There was pretty good conversation and I was able to quickly realize we got along well because we had one thing in common: we really don’t like people like that.  Saturday morning, I was informed that I had been excepted into the group if I promised not to have other friends.  This would be semi-easy, I don’t have many people I consider friends but the ones that are share that similar trait. Maybe we can form a super group of people who don’t like people 🙂

The following night, I was invited to a birthday party by a friend that shares mutual friends.  This party was very adult and included attendees I deem young, accomplished and shiny. There was awesome food, drinks and desserts.  Once again, that common trait emerged but more importantly, they shared the bluntness I often have to keep in my back pocket when around most people.

A little illustration to describe how I felt this weekend:

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Source: Tumblr

By Sunday I was completely worn out.  On one hand, isn’t this how life is supposed to be for a young adult?  On the other hand, I need to increase my stamina.  Is there a vitamin for socializing and partying?

I am 92% done with the new site: pinkgumbeaux.com. Although I will continue to have a presence on Blogger, it will no longer be my main blog *insert tears here* Till then, you know I need friends so “like” Pink Gumbeaux on Facebook and follow me on Twitter, Instagram, Rabadaba, and StumbleUpon. While you’re at it, check out my last post: Double No.

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DOUBLE NO

These days, I’m opposed to double dates. I don’t have any real reason, haven’t had any bad experiences, I just don’t want to…  Part of the issue is my imagination. Them:

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Me:

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When the husband suggested we double date with his childhood friend, I let it go through one ear and out of the other. I mean, he knows I don’t like people. But, he was serious! What was I going to do? I was fresh out of fake smiles and conversation so I did what any logical person would do, I talked to a friend who also doesn’t like people. It sounds counterproductive but she’s better at people than me. Her advice was to be so charming that I fool my husband into thinking I’m a charming individual! Is this possible? I still didn’t have it in me but was wearing a cute outfit and my favorite faux fur vest (which has no relevancy but made me feel good).

About an hour prior to our double no, the husband realized I can be extra awkward when forced into social situations and changed his mind. “I don’t feel like going.” And I said: “We have to. At the least, it’ll make a great blog post.”

We met them at their house but didn’t have to ride with them. Thank gosh! I knew stranger husband was a childhood friend of the husband but I didn’t personally know him and his stranger wife nor did I have sufficient time to cyberstalk and or run a background check. After about 3 minutes of being my usual unusual self, I started to warm up. Truth is, the husband and the stranger husband were hilarious together. We went bowling, had drinks and good conversation. What is this feeling? Is this fun?! Dear gawd no!

Just because this was fun, it doesn’t mean I’m going to be double noing every weekend. I’ve fullfilled my quota and should be good until November 2017.

I am 92% done with the new site: pinkgumbeaux.com. Although I will continue to have a presence on Blogger, it will no longer be my main blog *insert tears here* Till then, you know I need friends so “like” Pink Gumbeaux on Facebook and follow me on TwitterInstagram, Rabadaba, and StumbleUpon. While you’re at it, check out my last post: The Week After Ft. Husband.